“I want Mike to be like Mike.â€
I need a fake job.
Twice already this morning as I'm meeting with new friends for breakfast, getting coffee, going to the grocery store, etc, people are asking me, "What do you do?" It's a simple question really. But the answer gives me away every time. "I'm a student." I usually keep it as vague as possible, hoping they won't ask the next question. You see, most people who ask me are people who would feel isolated, embarrassed, or even condemned if I told them that I was currently working on my Masters of Divinity at Abilene Christian University's Graduate School of Theology. Yes, when its not Lectureship week, or I'm not talking with other preachers (or preachers-to-be), I'm ashamed of it too. I'd rather go through my studies without having to tell anyone what I was up to. You see, no matter how I say it, what words or phrases I use, and what body language I employ, I convey the message that "I'm better than you." If I just made up some job, (or okay, I'd honestly try to get one…or at least apply for one), then maybe I could avoid such an unpleasant conversation.
When I told Mike this morning during breakfast at BOBS, his whole demeanor changed. Our conversation went from life, struggle and hope to him convincing me that he and his family go to church every Sunday and that he had been ordained online so he could perform wedding ceremonies. I hated every minute of it…I wanted the old Mike back.
Curtis 4:33 pm on September 30, 2006 Permalink
I know the feeling well! It often causes me pain having to admit I’m a university student of theology/biblical studies because of the scripted response I get from people. It feels like compromising who I am to explain what I study, although in a just world it wouldn’t. So I often rely on friends who know me to jump with with a flurry of qualifying statements, like “Oh but he’s one of the good ones” or “He’s not what you’re thinking”. Sigh.