Memories from a Past Life
Last night was my final night as a paid minister on staff at a
"traditional church". Starting today, I am
"unemployed" and no longer working for a religious institution.
This seems like career suicide, seeing as how I have NO marketable skills at
all (unless you need an ancient Greek translator).
This has not only been a big transition job-wise, but also life-wise.
The first Sunday after my birth, I was "going to church".
Putting on the little suits and ties (clip-on of course), heading to Sunday
School for an hour to learn with my peers, and then spend another hour with the
church at large, week after week experiencing "worship services" of
all kinds. As I move away from the event of Sunday mornings, I can't help but
think about the impact it has had on my life. Here are just a few random
memories:
- Getting up late every Sunday and remembering that I hadn't done my
Sunday School "homework". Usually I would sit in the back of
the van on the way to church filling it out while Mom and my little brother
would work on his together.
- Bible Hang-man every Wednesday night. Teacher after teacher drilling
facts and memory verses deep into the inner recesses of my brain. Felt
and dry erase boards were the source of creativity (along with the storage
closet filled with "fun" toys like plungers and toilet paper when the
teacher was not present.)
- Being isolated to the hallway when I acted up.
- Hackeysack and tag in the front lawn of the church. Women gathered
together in the foyer and men standing outside by their cars, both deep in
conversation while kids poke around the baptistry, exploring its holy spaces
and magical reflections.
- As a teenager, attending churches other than my own for the first time was
eye-opening. Transforming, emotive worship. Smoke machines and
electric guitars were new to me. Cool spiritual retreats with my friends
was truly the first time I've given an entire weekend to thinking about my
spiritual state.
- I bought a huge study bible and plan on my own initiative to read through
the entire thing, cover to cover. This is a confluence of my
"facts" learned through my childhood as I understand a God of grace
and truth.
- As a college student, I look for the most powerful worship time and strong
teaching (best goods and services), most unified body of Christ (or the biggest
church).
- Attend a college class of 150 students. Continually try to plug into
ministries to find the same "ownership of faith" I felt as a young
man in my tiny church of 70 back home. Never really found my place, but
was content with my "placing memebership" one Sunday.
- Weekly met and developed relationships with the poor in a neighborhood nearby
the church. My first missional act done locally. Probably the most
profound, transforming ministry experiences of my life so far.
- As a minister, living in the "fishbowl" was tougher than I
thought. Now my thoughts could represent the thoughts of an entire
congregation. Fun to take ownership of my faith and the faith of a
congregation, although also very humbling.
- Mowing the church lawn and raking gravel. Service to the Lord?
So many random memories.
It’s powerful to see how God works over the span of many years (I think
I’m just getting to the point where I’m old enough to say something like
that!). While I celebrate the old, I do
not embrace it. I leave my past where it
is, and strive for the future, to continually listen for God’s voice – the only
thing that keeps me truly alive.
Last 5 posts by Mark
- Chicago Spiritual Map: Hyde Park - August 28th, 2008
- Off the Blogger Bench - August 27th, 2008