I’ve officially gone insane. Abilene:the crazy little town I live in right now, the one that brought me here ONLY because of the education it provides me at a local institution of higher learning, is going to be my home voluntarily beyond what I could do if I finished this degree at break neck speed. You heard me correctly: I don’t plan on rushing through my degree at an insane pace and high-tailing it out of here before I have a chance to catch my breath. …I must be going crazy.

Over the past year, I’ve realized in my life the deep need for honest-to-goodness LIFE. Really, I don’t have an all-out crazy lifestyle: I’m not working 40 hours a week while trying to keep a full load of courses or anything; but I’m floundering. I’m barely able to stay above water, and I’m certainly not able to live into the residency I’m a part of as deeply and as completely as I’d like to. I’m looking for a life that graciously accepts each event, relationship and learning experience as a gift. I’m looking for LIFE.
I’ve heard that true learning is a stool that is propped up by three legs: content, praxis, and reflection. Right now I feel like I’m living full-on the edge of content, with a little relfection I’m able to do on this blog and in my personal journal. I’ve tasted the sane life this semester, meeting with professors and friends who are actually trying to spend a whole day in Sabbath (no matter how much work they may have to do that day) and truly letting that day bring LIFE to the rest of the week. If I’m going to live this life for Christ, I’m going to do it with all I have - TODAY. Forget the “sponge it all up to maybe use it someday” method of learning. Give me a daily mixture of learning new content, then walking away from it to find some immediate use for it, and then a chance to prayerfully reflect deeply on what I’ve experienced.

All this to say: I’m dropping down to part-time status in graduate school. I’m giving up the dream that says I can do it all. I’m stepping down from my 1,000MPH mentality of learning, and deciding instead to cultivate relationships and communities of learning. This means I’ll be in Abilene for about another year to finish my degree. This is a tough pill for me to swallow, since my dreams of Chicago still loom enticingly large in my mind. While I can’t wait to move on, I’m going to savor the bite God has given me to chew on. I’m going to live the LIFE that is truly a full LIFE, right here, right now.

Last 5 posts by Mark

• God is Wholly - October 2nd, 2008
• The Great Moderation - September 30th, 2008

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 25th, 2006 at 12:50 pm and is filed under Graduate School, Learning, Personal Reflections, Sabbath. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.