Being Heard
Think carefully about your last major disagreement with someone you care deeply about. Could the argument have been handled any differently? What might have happened if both parties stopped pushing their own agendas, and focused intently on listening to the other?
We may have lots of skills for listening to one another, but have we ever thought about what it’s like to feel heard? What are the proven changes in relational dynamics when both parties feel as if they have been understood completely by the other? Does behavior change when people know others deeply know? Could peace be just around the corner?
There is an innate fear deep within each of us that we are only being taken at face value by the world around us. We yearn to share the real story; give the definitive rendition of who we are. How many prisoners truly believe (and tell anyone who will listen) that they were wrongly accused? How often are divorces blamed solely on the spouse not present for the conversation? Each person at some level cries out with everything they have for divine appreciation. As Philip Yancy proclaims, “We are angels stuck in the mud; mammals trying to fly.” They are human, yes - but they see in themselves the potential for something more. Sure they see their problems, but they go to extremes to paint you another story. Call it saving face, or preserving integrity - but as long as people (even strangers) keep listening, people go to the grave in hopes that their story is heard.
Last 5 posts by Mark
- Chicago Spiritual Map: Rogers Park - August 8th, 2008
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