Traditional Christian weddings are the norm for the majority of the developed world.  Regardless of your religion, there is something spectacular about the long flowing white gown, the handsome tux, the candles, the crowd…it is envied and mimicked all around the world.  In Japan they have a saying, “you are born a Buddhist, you are married as a Christian, and you die a Shinto” referring to religious roots of the typical ceremonies one encounters in life. 

This past weekend was an interesting one for me.  A Japanese friend married her American fiancé and incorporated several Japanese twists, including the groom reading a letter in Japanese to her parents in front of everyone…HOW NERVE-WRACKING!  The wedding was of course totally wonderful, and there was plenty of chances for me to reflect on my own marriage and recommit to Katrina in a new way as I once again saw the two of us standing up before our family and friends making covenant with God and with one another.  I am not afraid to admit: I cry at weddings!

Something about the story that is played out during a wedding ceremony must speak to the very heart of humanity, seeing how universally the ceremony has been accepted.  Imagine, before a sea of crowded faces, a man stands up with searching eyes, letting them wander over the familiar crowd.  None of these faces seems to fully satisfy his longings, not even his closest companions near by who are watching his back, keeping him strong.  He stands next to a much older man, a man who has walked the road of searching and finding, a man who knows how it feels to be alone.  This older man also represents God, who stands next to the young man.  In dogged pursuit, this young man learns God’s Word when He says “It is not good for man to be alone.”  God knows that we are meant for relationship, because it is in the image of our Triune God that we were created.  It is not good for a human to be alone, because God has never existed alone, but always in an interdependent relationship.

The music swells, the lights raise and crowd rises to their feet in utter amazement.  They make room for her to walk down life’s path toward the man she has also been searching for.  Out of respect they make a flowered aisle for her to penetrate the crowd and arrive at the man she loves.  Her father clutches her arm with joy and grief, knowing that this is the last time she will be his.  In a way, his commitment to loving, honoring and protecting his daughter is now complete.  He now hands her off to the young man who can barely believe his eyes.  This is his very own gift from God. 

The best of ceremonies treat the time spent as an opportunity for worshipping the Lord God, and for entering into covenant with him, as the man and woman enter into covenant with each other.  Truly, every witness of the wedding is a participant in covenant for the protection and care of this relationship.  God does not treat marriage lightly.  In a mysterious way, he allows man and woman to experience just a slice of God’s relational nature through the marriage covenant. 

Candles have been lit by the parents symbolizing the lives of their two children, and the two families they represent.  As the ceremony rolls on, the man and woman proclaim their commitments to each other through word, element (the rings), and light.  The last of these is the lighting of the “unity candle”, symbolizing a reconciliation of two families that now are ONE.  The deepest need of all humanity is the need to escape isolation and return to relationship.  In these and other ways throughout the ceremony this deep fear of isolation is completely extinguished. 

The older man speaks, and worlds are created.  Much like God’s world-creating power, when the older man says “I now pronounce you, husband and wife!”  Suddenly something new is born.  A fresh creation of God’s sits before us in a bold way.  Onlookers peer over the tops of tall, funny hats and feathers to catch a glimpse of this new victory in God’s creation, and the only response is praise and applause!  The man and woman are now joined forever in relational ONEness, and their faces are beaming with joy. 

The girls and guys that stand behind them now serve as accountability to this relationship.  It is their responsibility to honor and protect that marriage from its individual parts.  The groomsmen and bridesmaids stand as reminders that no marriage can stand alone, but that there is yet another circle of community that surrounds it.  Relationships are always wrapped up in conjoined circles. 

I love thinking about how symbol and icon speaks to the deepest parts of us, and regret that our culture does not recognize the power of the meta-narratives in which these symbols are a part.  It is such a great joy to be joined into the greater story, and still greater that God has given us pictures and emotions and actions to tell the echoes of his Greatest Story, which has yet to be completed.

Today has been a great day for getting out and meeting people.  This morning I went to BOBS, a homeless dining place, and met some pretty fantastic people.  I sat at the “cool table” for the first time this week - I label it that myself because there is always ONE table at BOBS (and in High School if I remember correctly) that to everyone else is the table they wish they were sitting at!  Several of those sitting around my table were great pranksters and jokesters.  Most of my morning was spent laughing with them and enjoying some great grub.  Don’t you wish you ate at the cool table?!?

Came back from BOBS only to head out to do some errands.  I bumped into Art, a homeless guy who is incognito working for God among the homeless.  He really is homeless though, don’t be confused.  He just sees his life as a mission field and radically lives into that.  I’ve been trying to track this guy down now for several months, and so seeing him at the post office today was a great surprise.  He’s the first homeless guy to give me his email address.  Now there’s something you don’t see everyday!

I ate lunch with a brand new friend who is joining our house church.  She’s has an innate ability to read herself and make life choices that propel her to moving in the direction of her dreams.  Katrina and I were both really impressed with her uncanny talent in reflection, and we’re excited to see what sorts of great things she has to contribute to our little faith community.  She’s leaving for a short trip to NYC, where she hopes to end up some day.  Let’s hope the people who know her there don’t take her hostage…we want this one back!

Met with my totally awesome guy buddies today as an LTG (life transformation group).  We had read the first few chapters in Genesis, and had a great talk about the kenosis of creation (okay, so we didn’t exactly use those terms, but it was all about God’s relational “pouring out” into his creation, culminating in giving humans the opportunity to become “companions” with God in his creation.  We talked about what that meant for us today, and this week.  Pretty awesome.  On the way home, Will told me that he and his wife had talked a lot recently about the possibility of making their home a “community ministry place” and were ready to give it a try.  He said that he needed the backing of others to see it happen.  I told him I would be happy to meet with him weekly to coach him into planting a faith community in his own apartment complex.  God is good. 

The past several days have been a flurry of activity around our new home.  Just last night we unpacked the last of our boxes and sat back in the couch with a big sigh of relief.  I never realized moving could give you such a back ache!

Our little community hasn’t really had much time together yet.  Sure, we’ve spent time eating meals together, spending some good time out on the front porch under the stars (and with the bugs!) but there really hasn’t been much of a chance to spell out a lot of the things we want to be together. What kind of people do we want to become?

Take a look at the life of Saint Benedict.  He escaped the corruption of the power-hungry church of the sixth century and fled to a cave.   He spent years in solitude, and through that discovered that humans find life and meaning through habits and rhythms.  We are all creatures of habit, the question is what habits are forming who you are?  What are the habits that help you become who you want to be.  Benedict would always say, “it is not our ideas or words that shape us, but our regular experiences.”  Through a blending of intentional work, study, community, and prayer, we become more fully who God created us to be.
Think for a moment, what are the things in your life that are “life-giving habits”?  (the kind that you could miss a day or two of but after that you would feel less than yourself).  Do these habits include some measure of all four components?

It is easy to get side-tracked with the constant distractions I have in my life.  This move towards a closer proximity is not just about living in the same house together (we could rent a room out if that’s all we were looking for), it is about making space in the chaos to establish rhythms of life-giving habits.  I’ll continue to let you know how all this works out!