A Semester’s Confessions
Well, I feel as if I’ve made it out of some long tunnel and have finally breathing some fresh air again after an arduous semester!
Some reflections on this semester (even before finals are technically over!):
- I’ve made some great strides in learning who I am. I spent most of my energy this semester (for better or for worse) learning and thinking about my religious heritage: Churches of Christ and the Stone-Campbell Movement that began in the 17th Century. Kind of a peculiar place to start, looking at my values. I have however lived deeply into this fellowship, developing a taste for its best principles, and doing my best to reject the parts of the movement’s fallen nature that can be seen in any human system. I drank deeply from the wells of Barton Stone, David Lipscomb, and T.B. Larimore. I also wrote a major research paper on my own grandfather, Cecil Willis. Learning his stories, his values, and his very humanness allowed me to see a lot of myself in my grandfather, and made me aware of my own potential short comings; what my propensities are based on what I have learned from my family. In short, this semester has opened my eyes to myself.
- I’ve given myself over to the temptation of “academia”. I don’t like to admit it, but I was sucked into the the library, when my heart was elsewhere. I felt that I needed perfection in my studies, partly because I valued the projects I was working on (see above), but partly because I’ve lost the tight-knit community that kept me accountable to the mission work I was so focused on last year in MRNA. I guess when I really sit down to think about it, I turned down the opportunity for a missional community of two or three, and instead took up the life of a hermit, seeing how far I could poke my nose inside a book. Of course, this also affected my blogging!
- I grew deeper in interdependence with others. I won’t lie. Our “abbey” holy experiment has been a difficult one. It’s not always natural, its not always holy at all. But when we confessed to each other our frustrations in the midst of a greater community a few weeks ago, we felt the very presence of our Lord, and gave ourselves over to one another. We are learning that life is lived better when we may have less personal space, but have more chances to work and live and love together. Trust is still something we are learning, but our next steps are becoming clearer.
- It’s become so clear to me that I NEED 2 or 3 brothers who will fight for my heart. This kind of relates to the previous reflections, but this is so central to it all that I need to restate it here. No, I need to write a whole post on it. No, I need to create a whole new blog on it… wait, maybe I should just try living more deeply into it. Why do we think that we can stay focused on God, live a life on mission with him, pay our taxes and whatever else, without a band of brothers that truly know each other? It’s absurd! It’s preposterous! It’s the American Way!
Whatever happens in the coming weeks and months, I know I have been changed over this past semester. I anxiously anticipate looking for God’s fingerprints as we move forward in this grand story of redemption.
Now that I’m looking back on this past semester, I’m anxious to spend
Last 5 posts by Mark
- Chicago Spiritual Map: Rogers Park - August 8th, 2008
- Google is Searching for Jesus - August 7th, 2008