Strategic Absence
Easter was great – we went up to Springfield, MO to hang with Trina’s family – they’re always a fun bunch; always lots of family drama to work through, but always plenty of laughs as well.
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Over the past few weeks, I have been feeling a real urge that something is not quite right with my ministry. I have shared this concern with Miller, and he has been feeling it too. He even wrote a post about it here.
One of the big lessons we’re learning when it comes to a simpler, more authentic model of God’s Church is that everyone is supposed to contribute to the Body, rather than sticking a sage up on the stage, keeping everyone else in the church passive. What we have found frustrating is that as naturally gifted leaders wanting others in our house church to step up, we try to stay out of the limelight while being present each week for worship; however, everyone else seems to follow our example, and everyone ends up avoiding the limelight.
So right now I’m prayerfully thinking about what my role is as a missionary to Abilene. Maybe I’m not supposed to be fully tied to just one church fellowship, but should be working throughout the network, meeting with other groups and helping start more. We never notice Paul or Barnabas or even Timothy working with just one congregation, but they DO seem to stick to an area, helping churches grow.
It is another one of those big leaps of faith to not “meet” with the same church each week; I’m honestly a little nervous about it. But it feels right. It gives everyone else the opportunity in my “strategic absence” to step up and use/discover their own gifts! And it frees me up to be the missionary I’m training/called to be. And its not like I’m not going to be church with the people I have come to love, because “church” transcends the meeting, time, and space!
Leadership is not simply about a dominating presence calling all the shots; it is about eduction of those you have influence over. Its about gently drawing out what is already latent or potential within those in your circles of influence. My friend in Minnesota calls this “organic leadership“. Go figure. 
Any major hiccups in this next step? Maybe – I can think of one or two – and I’m praying through them. But maybe you have some good ideas for me too…
bro – did you guys not have time to look us up? i hope you guys are coming back again sometime in the near future.
Markith,
Just a quick note to demonstrate that I have kept my word to check out “Godgrown” (now that I’ve fixed my stinky computer). Awesome, awesome, awesome to hear your thoughts on things good and godly (and green!). Amazing to see how your perspective has transformed over the years, joy-inducing to hear the things that God has done and is doing in your life. I am looking forward to exploring the site at length in the near future. All my love to you both!
Ash
PS – I see that “Irresistible Revolution” is on your recommended reading list…it has popped up in my casual conversations with 5 or 6 different people in the past few days. So I guess I’d better give the thing a whirl, huh?
Rob – SO SORRY man! I was thinking about you as we made our whirlwind tour. We were basically up there for a full day and part of one evening. We made the final decision to make the trip only a few days before Easter – but we still shoulda called ya. I know we’ll be making our way up there again sometime real soon; its not like Trina’s family is moving or anything!
Ashley – so great to see you online! Thanks for the words of encouragement. Words that come from a true friend are totally priceless. I would definitely recommend Claiborne’s book; if and only if you are ready to change all the plans in your life! If you read it, please write me your thoughts – I’d love a conversation partner over his thoughts.
no worries – i hope you guys look us up when you are in town and have the time for a visit.
I’ve been automatically importing my blog into Facebook, and occasionally someone will read the post there and leave a comment. My friend and co-conspirator at ACU, Andrew Brinley, wrote a thought-provoking response to this post, but I’ll have to post it here since he left his message on Facebook. Here’s his comments:
Andrew Brinley:
These are interesting observations. I agree that church goes beyond the bounds of a single congregation or denomination. We see quite clearly that it goes even beyond a specific interpretation of the scriptures. But, I am interested to hear more about your methodology.
You mentioned in this posting that “everyone else seems to follow our example, and everyone ends up avoiding the limelight.” If this is the result that you receive when you practice a hands off kind of leadership, would the result be opposite if you practiced a more active leadership example in the group?
Also, I wanted to mention that I see the need for unity among the different congregations in Abilene and the rest of the world, but how specifically does going to other churches motivate leadership among the churches you are now dividing your time with?
I believe you’re on the right track with this thread. If your goal is to be reaching more people for Christ through discipleship, then your goal might not be reaching other churches but dividing your time between the body and unbelievers. You don’t have to divide your time from the building of one specific church but you most definitely must divide your time between believers and non-believers.
My experience is this. Unity is bred by a common goal. The common goal we can agree on among differing theologies is that people need Jesus. When we focus on that goal unity becomes an essential quality and therefore is more easily accomplished. So, if you can lead by showing the body your concern for the lost. If they will catch site of this goal that God has set before us. Then all the other things will be added.
My response:
Andrew, thanks for being so thoughtful with your responses! (we’re having a whole different conversation on my blog – this facebook note is simply imported from the real blog at godgrown.net).
Right now I am in a missionary residency program in the GST at ACU. We are training to be domestic missionaries that plant simple, organic churches that are designed around the idea that Jesus is present and his church exists wherever two or three are gathered in his name. This means meetings look more like hanging out than a worship service, even though we’re experiencing more worship now than ever before. It means we’ll never go out looking to purchase a building, and we’re happy to say that our tithing in missions and benevolence has skyrocketed as a result. And we’re working with a network that spans the city. So there’s some background for this post that maybe should have been included in the post itself.
For the past year I have been consistently shepherding (as best as I can) one of these simple churches, and it has been awesome. But I’m beginning to see that while this is needed, I am not the shepherd. Eph 4:11 says that Jesus gave apostles, prophets, evangelists, and pastors/teachers. I feel more like the former rather than the latter. But what does an “apostle” do (however we define the term) in a world like ours? That’s part of what this post is about. I’m still learning methodology, but I know that to truly let the church rise up from under a “clergy mentality”, I am going to need to be “strategically absent.”
I’ll post this conversation on my real blog – I’d love to continue the conversation there if you have some more thoughts! Miss ya man!
hey guys,
sorry for the late weigh-in…
i think i’m not too sure whether it is my example of non-participation that is being followed. the more i think about it the more i think its still non-participation for the same ol’ reason… its somebody elses job.
i think the truth is that there will be nobody rising into leadership until there is a leadership vacuum. i’ve believed this for a long time and it is frustrating to provide that vacuum by refusing to lead and still have nobody step up…
my mistake has been in believing there is a vacuum. i am still seen as the leader and my presence alone is enough to fill the vacuum. it will not be until i am absent that there will be a true vacuum. i also have to understand that it may still take some time for anyone to step up since they won’t be sure i’m really gone for a few weeks.
some of the people i respect have been talking about me coming around about one sunday a month… but i’m wondering if that will be too often for the first month or so…
what are your thoughts?
Shoot! Well said Miller! I wonder if Paul had a similar realization when he realized it was time to leave the church in Antioch to begin planting churches all across the Roman empire…
Our main job as missionaries, and truly, is to “reproduce ourselves” – so why do we hang around filling the leadership vacuum at the same church week in and week out? We’re like those 6th grade nerds at the school dance who hang in the corner and drink punch. We’ll never reproduce this way!
As far as timing goes, I don’t think there is a formula (when is there ever?) but my gut is – wait until you hear the stories of leadership beginning to emerge. Then wait a few more weeks. Then go back to bless.
My question is: what about wives/families? Do they go too?
i guess that depends on the circumstances. i probably won’t take my wife and kids with me this time because they aren’t filling the vacuum. they need to continue with this group for a season i think.
however, thats just this sitch…
what do you think?
This is a tough question; I really don’t know the right solution, but I DO know that the Church exists beyond a 3-hour meeting in your living room – or any living room – or anywhere! Your family, (biological as well as church family) still needs your presence, just as much as they need your absence, not so you can be their leader all the time, but so that you can show them love. Love them in being absent, and love them in being present.
I suppose that is why Jesus was so convinced that it was going to be better for his followers for him to get out of the way and to send the Spirit instead. Talk about a major leadership vacuum! Christ is still present to love us, but his absence gives us the chance to do “even greater things” than Christ could’ve ever done alone. (John 14) He believed in strategic absence.
great points…
the assumption of course was that i am present to my bio-fam 24/7 (pretty much) and the same is true to a lesser extent of my Christ-fam.
thats the thing, this sounds so radical because people assume that if you don’t see each other on Sunday then there’s no connection…
sad, ain’t it?
there is more to be said here but i’m not sure now what it is…
peace