At THEIR Table

Last Saturday I picked up an extra shift at the steakhouse I work for here in Abilene. As of late I have been in prayer about my co-workers and asking the Lord to raise up workers in his harvest from among the people who work there. Father has been drawing my prayers toward one individual, who is quickly becoming a good friend of mine.

This man is not even as old as I am, and yet he just finished signing all his divorce papers last Friday. That is why he invited me and several others out to Remington’s Bar after work on Saturday. Remington’s is (I’m told) the most respectable bar in Abilene; a good middle-class experience – not too grungy, and not gold-plated. I’ve been there a few times in the past, and each time I walk in with the prayer that God would open my ears and eyes to what I am supposed to experience. He has never failed to answer that prayer.

My friend and I were sitting together and reflecting on his past 3 years as a married man when she approached. Her name was Shar. She had just moved back from Atlanta and knew absolutely NO ONE in Abilene. While she was disappointed with the night life (who isn’t?), she kept hoping that she would find some fun friends to start hanging out with. We introduced ourselves and told her that we had some other friends that would be joining us soon.

Before long we were all toasting each other with drinks and smiles, patting each other on the back for a long night’s work well done. Shar was still in the group, but was having a hard time striking up a meaningful conversation through all the “steakhouse banter”. She scooted over towards me and asked, “So what did you say you were studying?”

With a just a hint of anxiety in my voice I replied, “Uh, missions.”

“Oh.” She did better than most to quickly change the subject, talking about her life in med school and her father who had passed away two years ago, but about 10 minutes later she pressed further.

“So you’re in missions? What is that exactly? That means, like, Christian stuff right? Do you want to be a pastor or something?” I had been pegged. I told her that I did not want to be a pastor, and that both my wife and I had been changed by Christ in very tangible ways, and I wanted to spend my life letting people know what else in life is possible when Christ is at the center. I felt better than I normally do trying to explain myself…as if I really needed to.

“So…” she looked around the room, then back at me.

“Oh. I guess you’re wondering why I’m HERE. I suppose I see no reason why a Christian should hole himself up away from his friends and from so many others just because bars are looked down on at churches. This is where Jesus would’ve been hanging out. Look how much fun they’re having!” I pointed up at an elderly couple that was doing a pretty energetic two-step at the front of the room. They were obviously in love and loving life.

Shar went a little deeper, “That’s good to hear. You know, I had a few Christian friends back in Atlanta who were just amazing. I loved hanging out with them and all, but I always felt judged by them because while I would hang out with them, they would never hang out with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean they would never come out to the bars I loved to go to, and never found time to head to any of my other friends’ houses. It just seemed like they were there to drag me away from everyone else I knew. I guess things would have been a lot different for my life if they had actually cared.”

That did it for me. I saw clearly, maybe for the first time ever, the effects of Christians who are just there to add to their own numbers, and not to truly befriend those who needed to know Christ. All I could say in response was, “Shar, there is so much more to following Christ than you’ve been shown. Keep looking.” I don’t know if that conversation affected her, but it sure got to me.

Steve, my Bostonian buddy, just finished writing a great post on “exiles at the table”.  Christians have become professionals at inviting others to their own activities…their own tables.  But could it be that many non-Christians are waiting for Christians to join them at their own tables before trusting them will ever be an option?

Shar’s words about her life almost being changed but for the segmenting Christian friends she hung out with holds tight around my heart.  I will NEVER be afraid to go somewhere with my non-Christian friend.  Christ who goes with me is more powerful than anything that might be present, wherever we go.  For the rest of my life I commit to demonstrating my love for my friends by being present, and by being Christ everywhere I go.  Now “studying missions” actually means something to me.

Lord, I pray for Shar, and I ask that while she in here in Abilene you will give her friends that meet her on her turf – people who are incarnations of your Kingdom in her world.   That the world may know.

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