Come Be My Light
Come Be My Light is the new book being published this month which is causing quite a tumult in both Christian and major media circles. It is the journal entries of Mother Teresa during her years in the “Missionaries of Charity” in Calcutta, India. Since her passing, the Catholic Church has uncovered tons of documents on her and her life in the process of beautification (the path to sainthood).
What they found however shocked them. Apparently, for the last FIFTY years of her life, Teresa lived in a state of complete isolation from God. Dryness in prayer, emptiness of heart, and a mind full of doubt was somehow the driving force behind her daily interaction with the lepers, the dying and the “untouchable” caste in India. In fact, it was almost immediately AFTER she answered the call to follow Christ on mission into India that he stopped returning her calls. But why?
St. John of the Cross, a Spanish mystic calls this the “Dark Night of the Soul”, a state of pain and separation from God on the path toward greater union with him, but rarely does it ever last as long as Mother Teresa’s. And we can be sure that this was not just some naval gazing pity party. Teresa regularly gave her self away so that others could be blessed, and continued (much like someone serving a comatose spouse) seeking Jesus with no response from him.
This troubles a missionary’s heart. We believe that when we take leaps of faith (like we see Mother Teresa doing) we’re going to be rewarded with an amazing spiritual life filled with intimacy and connection with Christ. Not so for Teresa, who is in many ways a pioneer of incarnational missions.
Could her sense of the void between her and Christ be her sharing in the pain he experienced on the Cross for all humanity? In the moment when, having taken on the pain and sin of the world, he cries out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” could Teresa, having taken on the pain of so many actually come to a similar spiritual experience?
I’ve talked with enough Christians who work with the poor and the terminally ill to know that their crisis of faith comes mixed from not knowing why God doesn’t immediately fix the problems he has power over, and from losing sight of their own spiritual healthiness to continue serving others.
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So I’m wondering: can someone experience Jesus’ separation from God as a part of their journey to live like Jesus did? Why does God allow so many people to remain stuck in the pain and misery that they are in? And, is it possible to serve others so much that it kills your spiritual life?
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August 30th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
Great post and difficult topic.
In a very small way (no 50 years here) I can sort of relate to God being quiet and so forth. But I guess I see him a lot in several small things.
I don’t know why he doesn’t show up in big ways for hurting people I know…
August 31st, 2007 at 12:10 am
Wow, I never knew, but somehow am very encouraged by this information since I too have and am drifting through “Dryness in prayer, emptiness of heart, and a mind full of doubt”. Usually it’s cause I feel I’m not doing ENOUGH or am not seeing enough RESULTS and that is totally due to fleshly desires and performance that is so not God. I wonder if we get stuck with an idea of what prayer/worship/intimacy with God should be like and so miss the sparkles of love and hope he sends through unconventional means. How many times do I see a hurting person and see Christ in them? Do I really think I’m touching and loving Christ when I reach out to another? If I did really believe this, would it not give me great joy and a sense of intimacy with Him like nothing I’ve ever known?
At the same time, I look at people in the Old testament and they went through very long periods with no communication from God. But now we have the Holy Spirit as never before… I don’t know, but these days I”m often unsatisfied with our Christian walk and feeling that there should be more.
September 2nd, 2007 at 10:06 pm
First off, I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to respond to these totally heartfelt and thoughtful comments - especially by you two cool cats! I’ve been out of town and absolutely out of wi-fi connections (sometimes a good thing). So, with all that said,
I’ve been reading and hearing Jeremiah 29 lately. The “Letter to the Exiles”. In the midst of a completely paradigm-shattering event (the deportation of 10,000 Jews, shortly followed by the entire nation), Jeremiah writes a letter to the exiled Jews telling them to put down roots, raise a family, and pray for the peace of Babylon. They aren’t just there temporarily, they will be there a complete 70 YEARS! This is a jaw-dropping letter for the Jews, but even for us today.
The letter says that God would not even hear their prayers until after the 70 years were up. Do you think that sort of thing is happening to us “exiles” today?
By the way, of all people, I feel like you all are the most amazing “exiles” I know, doubts and all. (In many cases, BECAUSE of your honest doubting.)
September 15th, 2007 at 11:11 pm
I just finished reading the book of St. Luke and then buying and watching “The Passion”, again. I wonder if we were able to ask the earthly Jesus these questions if he would have any answers. I imagin Jesus would only say I don’t know, I know God loves us very much.
Good post man. I’ll be thinking about this for a while.