Come Be My Light

motherteresa.jpgCome Be My Light is the new book being published this month which is causing quite a tumult in both Christian and major media circles. It is the journal entries of Mother Teresa during her years in the “Missionaries of Charity” in Calcutta, India. Since her passing, the Catholic Church has uncovered tons of documents on her and her life in the process of beautification (the path to sainthood).

What they found however shocked them. Apparently, for the last FIFTY years of her life, Teresa lived in a state of complete isolation from God. Dryness in prayer, emptiness of heart, and a mind full of doubt was somehow the driving force behind her daily interaction with the lepers, the dying and the “untouchable” caste in India. In fact, it was almost immediately AFTER she answered the call to follow Christ on mission into India that he stopped returning her calls. But why?

St. John of the Cross, a Spanish mystic calls this the “Dark Night of the Soul”, a state of pain and separation from God on the path toward greater union with him, but rarely does it ever last as long as Mother Teresa’s. And we can be sure that this was not just some naval gazing pity party. Teresa regularly gave her self away so that others could be blessed, and continued (much like someone serving a comatose spouse) seeking Jesus with no response from him.

This troubles a missionary’s heart. We believe that when we take leaps of faith (like we see Mother Teresa doing) we’re going to be rewarded with an amazing spiritual life filled with intimacy and connection with Christ. Not so for Teresa, who is in many ways a pioneer of incarnational missions.

Could her sense of the void between her and Christ be her sharing in the pain he experienced on the Cross for all humanity? In the moment when, having taken on the pain and sin of the world, he cries out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” could Teresa, having taken on the pain of so many actually come to a similar spiritual experience?

I’ve talked with enough Christians who work with the poor and the terminally ill to know that their crisis of faith comes mixed from not knowing why God doesn’t immediately fix the problems he has power over, and from losing sight of their own spiritual healthiness to continue serving others.

So I’m wondering: can someone experience Jesus’ separation from God as a part of their journey to live like Jesus did? Why does God allow so many people to remain stuck in the pain and misery that they are in? And, is it possible to serve others so much that it kills your spiritual life?

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