Wow.  Call this one my 400th post.  I’ve never done any of the “blogaversary” milestones, but since we are about a week away from my 4th year in the blogosphere, and with this being my 400th post, I figured something must be said so we can all move on.

Blogging is a strange form of introspection and public disclosure.  There is a whole lot that we assume we know about ourselves, and until we write it up and publish it online, there is no way to really get feedback about our wacky perspectives or our off-our-rocker feelings.  Friends and family from around the world can comment on what would have otherwise remained trapped in one little cranium – thus creating a kind of honing and prodding that I believe has drastically and subtly affected my learning over the last 4 years.

Grad school made up years one through three.  And I actually started my blog only a semester into my grad school experience.  I opened a trusty Blogger account mainly as a way to process what I was learning in the classroom through a more conversational and reflective method.  My first post was on spiritual photosynthesis, and on the “organic” nature of our relationship with God.  I made mention that I was being confronted with this new buzz word at the grocery store, in my seminary classes, and in my prayers with God.  Without a doubt, this blog helped me to approach, analyze, and consider the incredible amount of mind-bending, worldview-shifting ideas being presented to me in grad school in a way I otherwise would have completely missed.  This blog put some traction on my learning and gave my feet something to run on.

An almost randomly chosen example of such “theo-blogical reflection” was pretty early on October 2005 – I had just read David Garrison’s Church Planting Movements, and was struck by some of the common elements of “church planting movements” he had studied in India, China, Africa, and even North America.  I began wondering if the early church had such characteristics as a church planting movement.  So instead of just leaving the thought alone, I sat down and did some searching, then posted my findings on this blog.

I never did any of the flashy blog stuff – live blogging, technorati promotions, or did much with group blogging…I never could get into blogging once a day like so many bloggers I admired seemed to have time in their day to do.  I couldn’t find a rhythm at all in my life for my web log.  But it was always seemingly present – an undercurrent of my consciousness, online for all to see.  While I never set out to write a blog exclusively on organic theology, mission, and spiritual formation – anything I wrote apart from those broad topics seemed to be the exception rather than the rule.

My categories section has much to be desired.  Organizing (and consolidating) my categories cloud is something I both want to do and dread.  I’d like to create a sort of “best of” playlist of blog posts – featured articles if you will – or maybe several “tomes” arranged around specific concepts.  I’d like to do some serious reflection on my own personal theological evolution over the last four years – hopefully finding it fairly obvious that God has continued to reveal his truth to me and shape me more into the image of Christ.  I hope to use a select few of these posts to invite others we’re training to consider some of the thoughts I’ve been confronted with in my own training.

So that’s enough reflecting for now.  I can’t tell you if I’ll still be blogging when I hit the 5th anniversary or not – and I beg to God that twitter won’t have completely wiped out the “macroblogging” (i.e. any post over 140 characters long) universe.  I can say that I am hooked on the cycle of (1) provoking theory, (2) radical action, and (3) deep reflection – and this blog has offered me a vehicle for doing just that.

Thanks for being with me on the journey friends.  Your comments, thoughts and push backs have kept me honest, opened me up to my own silliness, and provided a prism of perspectives that aim me toward the Person of Truth seeking after my heart.

“I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.” – psalm 101:2

How does this happen? What are the markings of a life led by integrity?

Some words that come to mind when I consider the word integrity:

Blameless, innocent, intentional, reflective, coherent, consistent, honest, authentic, concious, mindful, receptive, steadfast.

- Read this list again and ruminate on each of the words. Which ones especially stand out to you? What in this list surprises you or angers you? Pay special attention to you instant reactions and emotions. What else might you add or remove from this list?

I feel like God is calling me to step it up a notch in the way of integrity in my life. Integrity is for me a gift offered to me through the Holy Spirit. When I live centered not on myself but on the Lord, quickly I begin to sense things in a new way. I begin to look for what the Father is doing in this situation or that relationship. In a previous post I considered a life lived with relentless attention given to hearts: mine, God’s, and others. I believe a life oriented in this way opens me up to several things which leads to a life of integrity.

First, it opens me up to my own shadows and hypocrisy. When I am honestly looking into my own heart, discovering my wants and desires, I begin to see a pattern that either reflects light or darkness. This is the point where I become honest and authentic with myself- a key starting place on the road to integrity.

At the point where my attention to my own desires and the desires of God’s heart collide is where I see the narrow road I must walk toward integrity. Failure to bring God’s heart into the clear focus of my thoughts and prayers makes me humble, aware that my desires sometimes do, but often do not offer a sure path to the blameless walk of integrity I deeply desire. I must pay attention to my heart, yes, but only as long as I am willing to submit it to the Heart that I seeking after.

How do I trust that my attention to my own heart and the heart of God is authentic, and not a self-delusion I concocted in order to satisfy my own desires? I am convinced it is by paying relentless attention to the hearts of others as well. They bring the heart of God into clearer view, and they call me out when I am hiding my own heart from them, from God, or even myself. When a family of God pays unyielding attention to hearts, it launches each of them onto a trajectory of integrity and points them toward fulfilling their unique purpose God has prepared them to do on this earth.

I want to continue to process what happens when I am simply aware of the most powerful motivator in the universe: the human heart.

Hey guys – I don’t normally promote books or DVDs on here, but this one was a lot of fun, and very intriguing. Its called the Privileged Planet, a documentary on the origins of the cosmos and on the peculiar and relative uniqueness of the planet Earth. The authors of the book with the same name suggest that the Earth, which was given an incredible amount of variables and was able to develop complex carbon life, is rare if not unique in the universe – even when compared to the hundreds of billions of galaxies that make it up. Much more – the very same elements that allow for life to exist on our planet are actually what allow us the chance to discover the rest of our universe with relative ease.

Take our sister planet Venus for example – not only is its atmosphere so clouded with poisonous gas that life is unsustainable, but it also does not allow for a clear night’s sky in which to ponder the stars and galaxies beyond. Or take our position in the Milky Way – our solar system is located right in between two arms of the spiraling Milky Way Galaxy, allowing us not only the relative safety from galactic dust (harmful asteroids, etc) but it gives us a picture perfect setting for looking out of our own galaxy and over at distant galaxies (like Andromeda, etc).

Is there a potential correlation between our fragile survival situation in the universe, and our ability to learn and discover our surroundings? Is it merely coincidence? I don’t think so -

A Divine Creator – a thoughtful God – created a safe place for us not only to live and survive, but also to enjoy and discover. Earth is far more than a the product of time, chance and circumstance. The dynamic relationship between survival and our capacity to observe in wonder points to a God who wants to share in his created beauty. Not only does such a finely-tuned planet point to a Designer, but the opportunity to revel in a beautiful creation points to a God that desires relationship; in wonder, worship, love.

If physics, metaphysics, faith, space, and nerdery are your cup of tea – check out this sweet documentary. You won’t be disappointed.