SASHET begins with two assumptions:
1) You’re a human being. A real, living, breathing human being.
2) You are listening to God on a regular basis (as close to daily as possible). Note: We unpack this at length in MONO.
We know that mutual self-disclosure is the pathway to intimacy with God and with one another. SASHET is a tool that allows for mutual self-disclosure and opens a door for companions to connect with the Lord together.
What is SASHET?
It’s simple enough – you check-in with your partner by choosing one or more emotions from this listing (Sad – Angry – Scared – Happy – Excited – Tender), share them with your partner, elaborate to the degree that you would like and declare “I’m in.” Kids can do it, too. The power comes from sustainably practicing this tool daily – or even multiple times a day.
To take it a step further – Ask one another what you’ve been hearing from the Lord today. Sometimes our feelings contain hints of God’s promptings.
Basic Guidelines for SASHET
You may:
Focus on listening to the other person well.
Ask clarifying questions.
Choose one or many emotions (even if they seem in conflict)!
Choose to limit your verbal response simply to “I hear you.”
Limit and/or discern what you would like to share.
Share extensively, if you would like.
Practice SASHET in a pairing or in a larger group setting.
You may not:
Give advice or try to fix the other person.
Interrupt (this includes interrupting to pray).
Tell stories about your similar personal experiences.
Use qualifiers: “I’m a little sad…” or “I’m sort of angry…” (Instead try: “I’m checking in as scared.”)
FAQ
Why SASHET?
SASHET sets up a regular platform for us to practice compassionate listening and to be heard. In his book, Wild at Heart, John Eldridge writes about this as “a desire to watch over one another’s hearts.” Once we have been truly heard, we can quiet ourselves in a way that allows God to speak with us. We are able to quiet ourselves and truly listen to our family and friends. Even more profoundly, we are God’s hands and feet – and ears. By listening to one another, we illustrate the presence of God-with-Us.
What do you mean by Tender?
Tender is a feeling of compassion, deep empathy or sympathy for another person. (i.e. I’m feeling tender for Kate because she is alone in this job transition…)
Why daily?
We encourage each other daily because distractions come in like a drip. (See Hebrews 3). Distractions are small, so they go under the radar, but they are dangerous and additive in nature. What’s brilliant: Loving one another also looks like a drip. We must intentionally love one another – until our little “love drips” form an ocean of love. Through practicing the verb of love -by listening to God and one another- we can support one another really well. Over time, our values and daily practices become braided together. God weaves His heart into our heart and our hearts are woven into God’s heart.
Why talk about emotions?
When God’s Word tells us to love God with all our “heart, soul and mind” (Matthew 22:37), that includes our whole self. The heart is your eyes for seeing spiritual reality (Ecclesiastes 11:9). Literally, the heart is the “eyes and ears that know God.” The soul, where the feelings are, and the mind, where the thinking takes place, combine with the heart to shape our spiritual reality. Those with higher degrees of education have a tendency to find the elevation of the mind to be a place of comfort. We are not asking you to disregard critical thinking or thoughtfulness. We are asking you to attend (and to allow another to attend), not only to your mind, but also to your soul and heart. Talking about your emotions, describing the soul, allows the whole mind to descend into the heart. Under these conditions, we can listen to the Lord and do what he says. This is vital for maturity and developing our joy-strength.
What if I don’t know why I’m feeling a certain way?
No worries – it’s okay. You are not required to elaborate on your feelings. You may want to verbalize that you don’t know why you are feeling a particular emotion. Your transparency will most likely encourage others.
Why pairs?
We dig into this at length in the MICRO course. Simply put: Jesus set us up for pairings (watch how he calls and sends the disciples… in pairs!), plus your brain works far better in community. Remember that a shared sorrow is half a sorrow, and a shared joy is doubled joy.
Can we practice SASHET over the phone?
Absolutely. Remember, the key is sharing together daily. While being face-to-face with your partner(s) remains ideal, sometimes the phone is the best solution for a season or two. If it’s feasible, you may want to set apart a chunk of time to see each other in the flesh (i.e. plan a retreat, grab a meal together, meet at a conference, etc.)!
Many thanks to Kent Smith, Tod Brown and John White for introducing us to this transformative tool!
What questions need to be added here?
Rusty Wimberly 11:09 am on August 29, 2010 Permalink
enjoyed this article. i think it addresses clearly some of the issues we struggle with on a daily basis. I personally have run into both camps and find it hard to bring balance to one or the other. Interestingly, each perspective has something to bring to the other. Its unfortunate how the enemy seeks to keep a spiritual wedge in between us to prevent advancement. I also took a look at the ‘meso’ courses your providing. I love the concept! Keep up the good work in Chicago.