We should find people of great influence in our peer group and in our discipline and listen to them. Because they differ slightly from us, these people sharpen us. Sometimes they are achieving such greatness that we feel a drip of depression looming in our seeming lack of accomplishment. But that only remains when we focus on our accomplishments or lack thereof.

Many would call this sort of activity “self-centered.” I contend that it is probably not “self-centered” enough. Perhaps we need to go even deeper into searching ourselves - we need to search inside of ourselves to find the still small voice instructing us. This voice trumps all external, peer-reviewed comparison. It says, “Keep running the race” and “fight the good fight” and “I will give you rest.” Man, I love that still small voice.

Like any discipline, some of the pitfalls of painting don’t emerge (or become recognizable) until after one takes the risk of continued practice. One of the greatest lessons I’ve been learning in painting is to take confidence in the simplicity of a single stroke – to appreciate what one simple stroke can accomplish and communicate. (The painting here is a study of Mark from a couple of weeks ago.)

Just because a stroke is simple doesn’t mean the painting comes out as simplistic. The simplicity of each stroke actually adds great interest to the painting. Now, I think a little bit longer before I throw paint on the canvas because I want to be intentional. And rightly so – a stroke remains packed with substance: placement, direction, color, consistency, texture, value, size, and relationship to other strokes…

Before I did a lot of trial and error painting. If any of you have ever tried oil painting, you know that the paint takes an incredibly long time to dry! So while the paint is still wet, if the artist meddles in the strokes, the painting becomes muddy and difficult to appreciate. I have killed many pieces this way – out of insecurity and in search of perfection.

But my search was misguided. Even though I may not see what the painting will be as a finished piece, I have to trust the process. I let go and force myself to trust something that I cannot see. And a visual product emerges. It’s such a weird yet satisfying experience.

Fear of the future. Fear of change. Its easy to get trapped in fear with so much change going on around me. Entering my last semester of school, I’m amazed at how ethereal and theoretical most of my life has become. Now that graduation is in sight, I’m looking into what the future holds, and I have to say that all this practicality is a little unnerving.

For me, the danger is in finding my freedom from fear in my own prescribed guarantee of the future.

Prescribing is different than planning, or preparing. Its when I fall into deciding and prescribing who I will work with and what my paycheck will be that missing the mark in even the slightest bit becomes a complete failure in every respect.

Right now I’m looking for a job. Its my hope that I can get a job that fits in line with what I’ve been trained in and what I’m passionate about. Honestly, that limits my options pretty severely. Most guys with an MDiv are looking into working for a large mega church as a preacher, which regularly pulls 50-100 K a year. DANG.  As hard as this is to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”  Add the fact that I am really interested in Chicago and before you know it I’m SOL.

Now I know how the guy with a philosophy degree feels.

There are plenty of other, more exciting jobs out there for me. I’m finding them all the time. I found a few today in fact! The question is not, “Will I find a job?” But rather, “Will I keep my options open while looking for a job that allows for flexibility and God’s guidance?”

These are very humbling times for me right now. I’m going to be putting myself out there for quite awhile, and might have a stack of rejection letters before its all said and done. I’m not giving up - and at the same time I’m not setting myself up (for failure).

A future that is completely mapped out (read: wife, 2.3 kids, well-paying job in church planting/mission work right out of school, white picket fence) isn’t realistic at all, and much less fun. If my response to fears of life after graduation is to create a perfect life to fall into, I’m in danger of being rudely awakened.

Katrina here. Blog #2. I was painting a young lady this afternoon downtown, and I noticed she was staring off into the buildings. I asked her what she was thinking about and she said, “I’m trying not to.” What a profound statement! We conjured up a business proposition: contemplative prayer meets fine art. Hmmmm… (It’s more like performance art, I suppose…) The question on many brains that needs attention is “HOW does one dump their brain clutter?” So, let’s talk about how to clear your brain. Well the parts are not difficult to understand, and naturally, this will look different for different people. I don’t have a recipe, but I have been trying some things. Here’s what you need to know:

1. Learn to trust more

2. Take your time, be graceful with yourself

3. Only say what you intend to do / only say what you mean

4. Do what you say / mean what you say

5. Be diligent (ask, seek and knock)

6. The door will open

Transparent Practicality — Here is what this has looked like for me. I haven’t perfected this at all, and this may only work for a season, but here is where I am at the moment. As I mentioned in my last post, I have just read David Allen’s Getting Things Done and Armchair Mystic by Mark Thibodeaux. And as Mark mentioned in the comments, these books seem quite opposed at first glance — one is about efficiency and the other is about the art of being. Doing vs. being. Are they really at odds?

I would venture to say that the art of being and contemplative prayer are a means to efficiency. I get much more accomplished when I am fully aware of my surroundings and my time than when I am quickly rushing from one thing to the next. I am also a nerd/geek. I love technology. I was taking apart computer hardware with my mom as a young girl while other girls were playing with Barbie dolls. So here is a tool I’ve been using to dump my brain. It’s a tool I’ve had to come to learn to use, and I like it. (And ultimately, true security is only found with God, and if it falls apart for some reason, I trust that He will provide and take care of me.) The tool is Toodledo, a free online software that manages tasks and assigns them priority. I use it in conjunction with Google Calendar. (You can see the little green checkbox next to the weather icons.) Here is a screen shot:

I like the fact that I can sit down to the checklist, take five minutes and dump everything that needs to get done (with a priority level and due date, if needed).

I used to do the same thing with checklists on pencil and paper, but I always dropped it because I would lose the checklist, and I was tired of transferring all of the tasks that I didn’t do onto a new sheet — I felt like a failure. Ultimately, I didn’t really trust the process either. I didn’t trust that I would do what I had said I would do.

Now, I use Toodledo as a referral point and a sacred space. By placing these things in this “silo”, my mind is like water. If I don’t intend to workout that day, I won’t write it on there! The only way this works is if I make the tool an authentic representation of what I truly desire and need to do. Otherwise a great deal of time and resources has been wasted. Once I’ve dumped those action items, I don’t think about them again (until it’s time for me to think about them). The process has been freeing and helpful.
This tool is one helpful lifestyle change that has really brought me peace of mind. Everyone’s approach will look slightly different. Please leave a comment if you have any suggestions or examples of what this looks like for you.

What about brain noise resulting from non-task based items? Like philosophical concerns or relationships? See you for the next post.

It’s fun being married - last night we had a “sleepover” where we stayed up super-late and watched a movie and snacked on anything we could get our hands on. But that also meant waking up around 10:30 this morning with not a little of that infamous “sleep” in our eyes (anyone have a better word for that stuff??).

As I was finally getting ready for the day, (it was about 11:30am), I got a call from my new friend Brad, whose friendship is another blog post altogether. For now, suffice it to say that just two weeks ago he committed his life to Christ through baptism and is pumped about sharing his faith with many of his lost friends. Brad asked, “What’cha doing this morning Mark?”

I responded with “Well, I just woke up about an hour ago, and I’ve just been enjoying the morning at home so far.”

“It’s Sunday morning! Why aren’t you at church you lazy bastard!” Brad cajoled.

It is the funniest thing, “going to church”. I didn’t really have an answer for him right then, so I just laughed along with him and we continued our conversation. Some reflections now as the day comes to a close on our little dialogue:

First, I LOVE the circles I’m running in these days. No longer am I with the “church-ified” Christians, who fear how they might look if they say what they are thinking. Brad’s response was authentically blunt, which is a refreshing joy for me, even though it still throws me off guard.

Second, while I didn’t technically “go anywhere” this morning that could be called a “church”, I am beginning to find the Church as much more of a liquid than a solid. Let me explain my free-flowing thoughts here…

This morning, we woke up together and took it easy. We both read from God’s Holy Word, then got ready as we talked about what we heard God saying to us through the pages, and where the “biblical canon” came from in the first place. Then we talked about how cool it would be to create a booklet or a website that gave seekers the chance to ask questions about the nature, function and origins of Christian Scripture.

After getting ready for the day, we continued our “church” by heading out to grab something to eat, where we bumped into a friend of mine who is doing work with victims of domestic violence and prisoners with drug problems. We scheduled a time for our families to meet up in July. His baby boy is getting so big.

As we were driving, I felt the Lord’s presence in a deep way as I listened to “Something Beautiful” by the Newsboys (audio sample here, lyrics here) and just started worhshipping and thanking God in whispered prayers for his image-rich Creation that points to a beautiful Kingdom that flows in and out of everything wonderful and beautiful and true in our lives here on earth. Inspiring…

A friend from out of town called and said he was passing through town and wanted to meet with us if possible. We invited him to join our cookout with our faith family. During the cookout, our neighbor popped his head out of his door, and we invited him over too. We shared laughs, stories, and watermelons. “Church was happening” all over the place.

“Church happens.”

Afterward, “church” flowed into a coffee shop where the conversation continued, and we met up with a friend Katrina is mentoring/coaching through some big decisions right now. They’ve been talking about everything from major life goals to boy troubles to new shoes. They’ve found their way back to our living room and the conversation is electric. I’m having a hard time staying out of it even now to write this blog post!

Church happens everywhere. It is not something you can GO to - it is the liquid movement of God’s people interacting with each other and with their world. Now when people ask “where do you go to church?” I say, “Where DON’T I go to Church!?!”

———-

What would happen if Christians found themselves living as the Church God created them to be? IN the world, but not of it?

What if instead of going to a spiritual goods and services distribution center to download God or encouragement, Christians learned how to hear from the Lord everywhere they went?

What would have to change about the Church if it looked less like a solid and more like a liquid, reaching into every nook and cranny of life and our culture? How would this change the world?