Godgrown

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  Mark 8:05 am on June 1, 2011 Permalink | Reply  

  Moving In, Moving On 

  When do you know its the right time to move on?  In developing healthy communities centered on Jesus, a “community developer” or “church planter” has an interesting relationship to the church he (or she) is planting.  He is both a part of the new community, and yet at the same time, he is very much different.  He is meant to move on – to take the risk that the fragile and humble group that has gathered around Jesus is ready to withstand the harshest of times, and whats more, to charge forward against the gates of hell.

  Many times the best thing a church planter can do for a church is to leave it – not out of anger, spite, or revenge for some past misdeed, but out of an interest to remove a sort of scaffolding to truly let the building be what it is to become.

  At times I’ve felt a little like a grandma (I know, weird.)  By this I mean that after a new couple has a child, often a grandparent will stay with the couple to help out around the house, teach a little bit of technique to sooth an infant’s cries, and simply be a loving presence.  However, there comes a day – when Grandma returns home – and that’s when the real adventure begins.

  The apostle Paul found this an extremely useful strategy for developing a faith community – to get out of the way!  For Paul, he was in and out in as little as 9 days, and as long as 3 years.  Similarly, Neil Cole describes in Organic Leadership that mentors and church planters should MAWL their proteges – MAWL stands for:

  • M – model
  • A - assist
  • W – watch, and finally…
  • L – leave.

  It is that last one I have the hardest time with.  Leaving.  I never fully trust that the group can survive without me.

  But as I write those words, what kind of perspective is that?  Why do I think its up to me to keep some flywheel spinning, once its been spun?  I’ll get my hand cut off trying!

  Maybe a little humility and bravery is needed.  Maybe part of what it means to see a vibrant family of Jesus in close reach of every person is not thinking that the family has to get it all right for years on end before the scaffolding can come off.  Could it be that things actually work better through strategic absence of a leader rather than persistent, suffocating presence?

  

  Katrina is discussing. Toggle Comments

   
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    Katrina 7:23 pm on June 1, 2011 Permalink

    Mark – nice post! When the human “leader” fades out, the true Leader appears…

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  Mark 9:42 am on May 19, 2011 Permalink | Reply  

  Forget Buying Local, “Buy Social!” 

  I’ve been having a lot of fun at the farmer’s markets so far this year.  My wife Katrina over at her site Art & Table can tell you more about that, plus show you some of her delicious meals made on the cheap with fresh produce.

  But it has me thinking some about where my dollars go.  In a booming economy, it seemed no one minded giving their hard-earned dollars to big companies that moved all the money to one side of the boat – tipping us toward a capsize.  Well, I don’t want to go into the water.

  Instead, a few years ago we as a society remembered what it was like to buy things from each other.  Rather than a computerized woman checking out our oatmeal creme pies and CoCo Puffs, now we’re buying locally – handing cash (or in some cases, local currency!) across a fold-up card table in exchange for a heirloom tomato picked this morning in a farm just outside of town.

  You know that feeling you get after a cross-country flight?  That’s how your tomato feels too.  …Buying local is great for taste, and your pocket book.

  But there’s something I’m adding to the long litany in your purchasing portfolio:

  BUY SOCIAL!

  I’m finding my friends and family are taking advantage of our current economy along with the rise of Facebook and other sites like it to step into a new venture.  My sister-in-law sells wickless candles, my friend sells gourmet meals, two of my cousins just released their first album (rock and folk), and my mom sells health products.  I’m certain that I can get into the paper goods business, selling all my friends and family toilet paper and such.

  Just think – the more connected we all become, the more we become self-marketers, (every status update is a promotion of you.)  If you wanted to make money what better place to advertise than to your friends and family on a place where they spend an average of 45mins a day waiting for you to say something?

  Now, no one wants a nag – and we’ll all have to learn to continue to treat our friends and family as real, honest people – something corporations with million-dollar commercials forgot a long time ago.  Maybe with a real, honest social connection, we’ll know how to best keep our “warm market” from becoming “warmed over.”  I love my family and friends more than I want their business.  Much much more!

  And it works.  I’m finding that my family and friends involved in this new economy: 1) deeply respect the boundaries of marketing to me and 2) we are engaging each other in new ways as we talk about the products and services they truly believe in!

  I love handing money to a local farmer – but I really love handing money to a friend or family member for goods and services.  It is as if I am once again looking at changing my buying habits – why buy from Sam Walton’s family when I can buy from my own?

  
   
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  Mark 9:33 am on May 12, 2011 Permalink | Reply  

  Table Questions 

  One of my favorite habits we have in our house church is “Table Questions.”

  It isn’t anything super formal.  We gather in the evening time each week, and begin by sharing a meal.  We share, laugh, pass the potatoes, and catch up on each other’s lives and missions.  It feels like a family reunion of sorts.

  And then, before finishing up our meal and moving on to a time of prayer and worship, someone shares a specific question at the table that helps guide the conversation into a time of discovery, worship and common reflection.

  Table Questions are something you can do in your missional communities, house churches, small groups, or simply your family’s dinner each evening.  It is reminiscent of Jewish practices, where a question is asked at table and there is dialogue and learning – both for the children and adults.  This is where family learning happens!

  The table is a place of safety, a place of unity, a place for partaking in food and each other.

  To be honest, Table Questions, not carefully thought through before asking them, can lead to disaster.  Allow the potentially divisive question to wait for another time - Table Questions draws people out, it doesn’t recoil them into hiding.  It offers a simple starting place for each person to contribute no matter their faith maturity or intelligence, which will help them find their voice later in the evening as you all share in a “worship potluck” (1 Cor 14:26).

  Pass around the responsibility of Table Questions to new leaders in your community.  Give lots of people the chance of fascilitating meaningful conversation.  Even non-believers in your gatherings can lead this!  It gives all a sense of ownership, and helps the group cultivate new leaders for new churches not-yet-planted around other kitchen tables!

  How to ask a Table Question that leads to life:

  • Understandable. Think about the specific words to use.  Say the question once, and say it succinctly.  Make it easy to understand, and folks will be happy to answer.
  • Perspectives. Ask questions that point not to hard truths, but to one’s experience.  For example, don’t ask a question starting with, “Is it right to…” but instead, try, “When have you ever experienced…”
  • Value-Driven. Draw on questions that might lead to values your community holds.  For instance, ask, “What does love look like in your life?”
  • Collaborative Questions. Avoid trial matters.  Avoid doctrinal matters.  Avoid political positions.  Again, these things can wait for another time, perhaps later in the evening, or at another gathering all-together.  The aim here is to cultivate collaboration, not competition.
  • Have Fun. Give people opportunities to tell their own story.  Ask them to share favorite memories, challenging circumstances, and more from their own life.  Keep a playful spirit about you.  And always give people the chance to ‘pass.’

  Great ways to start a Table Question:

  • “When have you ever…”
  • “How might we…”
  • “In your experience, what does ______ look like?”
  • “If you could say one thing to someone else in the room that would build them up, what would you say?”

  The table is a sacred space for humans.  It is where our LORD waits for us – a great banquet table.  I am sure there will be many questions asked at that table (mostly, us asking God all those BIG questions we have for him…), imagine your Table Questions as an echo to that banquet feast coming soon in Heaven!

  

  Sean Durbin is discussing. Toggle Comments

   
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    Sean Durbin 4:05 pm on May 12, 2011 Permalink

    I LOVE table questions!