What Does Love…Do?
Walking through Chicago, you see parents interacting with their kids all the time. Walking down sidewalks, playing at parks, on the train, pushing strollers and wearing baby-wraps. Kids being rewarded, and being disciplined. Parenting styles of all kinds are on full display – some styles absolutely baffle me, others make me cringe…but there are times when you see a partent engage a child in such a way that it inspires not only the kid, but all watching, to live a better life.
Many parents love their children, but few parents know how to put that love into constructive action. What I mean is, sometimes we think we’re loving a child when we’re actually harming her. Love is not as simple as a kiss on the cheek or handing them 50 candy-bars a day just to appease their wishes.
Not being a parent myself, I can not assume I would be any different than countless well-meaning parents in Chicago – and my heart goes out to folks doing the most important work in the world, raising up the next generation. It IS the most important work…which is why this question must be asked…
What does Love do?
I look to the perfect picture of familial love – the Father God and his Son Jesus Christ. Review the Gospels to find what the most beautiful, ultimate parenting skills look like in action. Re-read the Gospels with the eyes of how God ‘parented’ Jesus, and you may find that the Love of the Father sends his Son into Mission.
I’ve seen some parents walking down the street with their two-year-old running about 20 feet behind them, frantically trying to keep up; I’ve seen other parents let their kids shoot ahead of them unawares, running at full-speed toward busy streets, and still others keep their kids on leashes, never leaving them out of their reach (with literal leashes~ or a GPS on their teen’s cell phone)!
Watch the Father keep his Son intimately close for years, teaching him who He is and Whose He is. At twelve years old, Jesus has a better grip on his identity and his mission than most adult Christian leaders. Speaking to his earthly parents, who had LOST HIM at a city-festival, found him in the Temple, and Jesus’ pre-teenage voice, cracking as he plainly said, “Why are you looking for me? Didn’t you know that I must be where my Father’s work is!” Potent — both intimacy and mission wrapped into one sentence…(Lk 2:48-50)
As Jesus’ life progressed, he was sent out as the Light of the World, doing incredible work and breaking through the hardest barrier in the Universe – the human heart. Even still, as a Good Father, God was ever-present and affirming of his Son, attuning regularly with Jesus in times of intimate prayer and communion.
And it is in fact, the same relationship God hopes for all those chasing after the Jesus-Way. We have a real opportunity to be “Fathered by God” – to find our true identity, and our true purpose and mission in life. There are enough voices vying for our hearts and our dollars in this culture – it will take focus and intentionality to be fathered by God, but its worth it – not just for your own life, but for your children’s.
Kate are discussing.
Kate 3:10 pm on September 12, 2011 Permalink
Since I feel the need to support my namesake, I will share 2 comments: 1) Fittest does not necessarily mean strongest. Fittest is really referring to the most successful given the constraints of the environment. Thus things that have supported greater human survival, like compassion and helping others (not violence and raping), tend to have been genetically and socially passed on. (Side note: There has been a lot of recent research in psychology providing more evidence that we are “hardwired” to help others. For example, if you do things with the specific goal to make yourself feel better, you feel good momentarily. If you do things to make others feel better, you feel good over a longer period.) 2) Survival refers to genes, not to actual people, although the person needs to survive long enough to produce children.
An idea you might find interesting that we discuss a lot in one of my labs is that idea that “survival of the fittest” might actually promote a specific mix of genes in a population and not just one specific gene. So, for example, what is the ideal mix of introverts and extroverts for a population? Conservatives and liberals? Theists and atheists?
Thanks for this brief respite from work! Hope you and Katrina are doing well.
Mark W 3:57 pm on September 13, 2011 Permalink
Kate — Thank you so much for the thoughtful, intriguing comment!
I may have written this post with more provocation than was necessary, something I kick myself for only after its been published. I actually think that there is a lot of realism/truth to Darwinism’s basic premise – and I think your interpretation of that premise is really cool — (eg. “fittest = most successful given constraints…”)
I realize that it is historically suspect to try to force two figures from very different times/places into a conversation – comparing Darwin’s and Jesus’s outlooks on life may be like trying to compare the works of Mozart and Shakespeare.
So moving forward cautiously on that point, I do think that the popular application of “survival of the fittest” is something that existed long before Darwin, even in Jesus’ day, and that Jesus’ teachings reorients the Darwinian basic premise.
In Jesus’ mind, success in life looks nothing like the definition of success society-at-large is trying to sell us. They are ladders leaning up completely different walls. One points to amassing as many points as possible (points = cash, relationships, toys, even things like “benevolence” etc)…the other sees the renunciation of self-promotion, for the sake of deeper truer life. One teaching Jesus is famous for is “If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?l Is anything worth more than your soul?” —
What do you think? Are there conflicts in the essential ends…and means… for the teachings of Jesus, or are they complimentary?
Here’s a confession – although I see Jesus’ teaching one thing – I’m basically not living it out. If I’m being honest with myself, I still seek self-promotion. Dang it.
I hear you saying in your comment that “compassion and helping others” have helped human survival as a whole — sort of a “macro” picture of Darwin’s claim, rather than focusing on the fate of one person. And I find that really interesting/worth thinking more on. My first blush response is, “Who was the caveman who made the switch?” What I mean is – how does a society evolve from violence as the best strategy for survival to compassion, helping others? When a society (say, like 3rd Century Ireland) is filled with violence and fear from Druidic gangs terrorizing towns and villages all over, how does a guy like St. Patrick turn the tide and reinterpret “survival of the fittest” to mean “community, peace, gardening, self-sacrifice,” etc? This kind of holistic, systemic sea-change stuff really intrigues me.
Again, thanks for your response. Hope this comment is a positive contribution…and not just my usual blathering. I’d love any more thoughts/push-backs.
Peace! ///Mark