SASHET begins with two assumptions:
1) You’re a human being. A real, living, breathing human being.
2) You are listening to God on a regular basis (as close to daily as possible). Note: We unpack this at length in MONO.
We know that mutual self-disclosure is the pathway to intimacy with God and with one another. SASHET is a tool that allows for mutual self-disclosure and opens a door for companions to connect with the Lord together.
What is SASHET?
It’s simple enough – you check-in with your partner by choosing one or more emotions from this listing (Sad – Angry – Scared – Happy – Excited – Tender), share them with your partner, elaborate to the degree that you would like and declare “I’m in.” Kids can do it, too. The power comes from sustainably practicing this tool daily – or even multiple times a day.
To take it a step further – Ask one another what you’ve been hearing from the Lord today. Sometimes our feelings contain hints of God’s promptings.
Basic Guidelines for SASHET
You may:
Focus on listening to the other person well.
Ask clarifying questions.
Choose one or many emotions (even if they seem in conflict)!
Choose to limit your verbal response simply to “I hear you.”
Limit and/or discern what you would like to share.
Share extensively, if you would like.
Practice SASHET in a pairing or in a larger group setting.
You may not:
Give advice or try to fix the other person.
Interrupt (this includes interrupting to pray).
Tell stories about your similar personal experiences.
Use qualifiers: “I’m a little sad…” or “I’m sort of angry…” (Instead try: “I’m checking in as scared.”)
FAQ
Why SASHET?
SASHET sets up a regular platform for us to practice compassionate listening and to be heard. In his book, Wild at Heart, John Eldridge writes about this as “a desire to watch over one another’s hearts.” Once we have been truly heard, we can quiet ourselves in a way that allows God to speak with us. We are able to quiet ourselves and truly listen to our family and friends. Even more profoundly, we are God’s hands and feet – and ears. By listening to one another, we illustrate the presence of God-with-Us.
What do you mean by Tender?
Tender is a feeling of compassion, deep empathy or sympathy for another person. (i.e. I’m feeling tender for Kate because she is alone in this job transition…)
Why daily?
We encourage each other daily because distractions come in like a drip. (See Hebrews 3). Distractions are small, so they go under the radar, but they are dangerous and additive in nature. What’s brilliant: Loving one another also looks like a drip. We must intentionally love one another – until our little “love drips” form an ocean of love. Through practicing the verb of love -by listening to God and one another- we can support one another really well. Over time, our values and daily practices become braided together. God weaves His heart into our heart and our hearts are woven into God’s heart.
Why talk about emotions?
When God’s Word tells us to love God with all our “heart, soul and mind” (Matthew 22:37), that includes our whole self. The heart is your eyes for seeing spiritual reality (Ecclesiastes 11:9). Literally, the heart is the “eyes and ears that know God.” The soul, where the feelings are, and the mind, where the thinking takes place, combine with the heart to shape our spiritual reality. Those with higher degrees of education have a tendency to find the elevation of the mind to be a place of comfort. We are not asking you to disregard critical thinking or thoughtfulness. We are asking you to attend (and to allow another to attend), not only to your mind, but also to your soul and heart. Talking about your emotions, describing the soul, allows the whole mind to descend into the heart. Under these conditions, we can listen to the Lord and do what he says. This is vital for maturity and developing our joy-strength.
What if I don’t know why I’m feeling a certain way?
No worries – it’s okay. You are not required to elaborate on your feelings. You may want to verbalize that you don’t know why you are feeling a particular emotion. Your transparency will most likely encourage others.
Why pairs?
We dig into this at length in the MICRO course. Simply put: Jesus set us up for pairings (watch how he calls and sends the disciples… in pairs!), plus your brain works far better in community. Remember that a shared sorrow is half a sorrow, and a shared joy is doubled joy.
Can we practice SASHET over the phone?
Absolutely. Remember, the key is sharing together daily. While being face-to-face with your partner(s) remains ideal, sometimes the phone is the best solution for a season or two. If it’s feasible, you may want to set apart a chunk of time to see each other in the flesh (i.e. plan a retreat, grab a meal together, meet at a conference, etc.)!
Many thanks to Kent Smith, Tod Brown and John White for introducing us to this transformative tool!
What questions need to be added here?
April, 
miller, 
Mark 9:47 am on January 4, 2009 Permalink
Thanks for the crazy, world-bending video! It’s amazing how things we assume have always been got their start less than 100 years ago. Crazier still is that even when those in authority discover how suicidal our food process here in America is, they push on. The most disappointing appointment to Obama’s cabinet was Tom Vilsack, Secretary of Agriculture. That guy seems to push more of the Agri-business we’ve seen in years past.
Mark 9:56 am on January 4, 2009 Permalink
You and I have become what I’d call “mostly-vegetarian” simply out of budget needs. Meats just don’t get into our home-cooked meals. (Which I really appreciate!)
The only obstacles I have are (1) When we’re traveling or (2) It has become the “chic” thing to do. Eating organic, local, and “healthy” foods are simply not something the working poor have the kind of resources to do. Advertising is aimed at different socioeconomic groups (commercials on the Golf Channel or Home&Garden Network are filled with the foods Bittman talks about, but Jerry Springer and NASCAR get their sponsors from fast food joints and worse).
I want a revolution – I love urban gardens. I love guerrilla gardening. I love free cooking classes in poor neighborhoods. I want to write a post on subsidizing farmers to set up markets in poorer parts of town. Do you think that would work?
miller 10:32 am on January 4, 2009 Permalink
Good video… mostly.
if it weren’t for the plethora of bad information, faulty statistics, and poorly drawn conclusions…
“we don’t need animals…”
really, is this the place or time to assume an audience “knows what you mean?”
he says that thirty percent of the earth’s surface if directly devoted to raising livestock. how is that possible if only thirty percent is above sea level?
some of his info is good and i applaud his presentation of it. but he gets a lot of stuff wrong and in the process shoots himself in the foot.
(granted, most of the stuff in the first part that bugs me is the oversimplification of the problem and the solution.)
finally, he doesn’t really even address the issues of big corn or soy. he mentions these products are in everything but never explains how they are devastating the planet. nor does he talk about the gross human rights violations being meted out by the vegetable produce industry.
this presentation was put together by a guy who has been struck by the seriousness of our situation… but hasn’t had the time to really research the facts or all of the implications of his recommendations.
katrina 9:38 am on January 5, 2009 Permalink
Hi Miller -
Good to hear from you. I’m glad you have a sensitivity to the research and the statistics. I’m not a statistician.
I will say that I’m really glad that there is someone making strides toward sustainable, baby-step changes. In his video, Mark Bittman is making a suggestion that is key: change is possible, and here is how you do it.
We can pick his presentation skills apart all day long, but I think you’d agree with me that our food system is broken, and it’s going to stay broken and continue to break even more until we start talking more about it.
So, in sum, his video isn’t perfect, but at least he’s making a stab at a very important subject. I’m glad that your family places such a high priority on eating good food together and setting a good example for all of us. And you’ve described your family as a good kind of “weird”. What you are teaching your kids isn’t being taught around the nation, so if you have another video or some additional content that would give us some more information on how to make positive & realistic changes, then I would love to know about it!
—
Mark — I think that the conversation of bringing good food and good eating rituals to those in our county “with-out” is a big plus. We have so many people here who are untouchable, and they don’t understand how to break out of the systems. Good thoughts.
miller 10:55 am on January 5, 2009 Permalink
Katrina,
sorry, i shouldn’t have picked it apart as i did. it just frustrates me when a guy who is as respected as he must be speaks in front of such a large group of “teddies” and shanks it with such simplistic solutions.
true, he has been thinking about it and, again, i applaud his heart on this… i just wish he’d been a little more prepared. when an inaccurate picture is painted, people find out it doesn’t work and tend to quit trying…
we just can’t afford that!
i can’t give you a video that wraps it all up nicely because i haven’t seen it. i’ve been cobbling an understanding of the issue from many perspectives for many years. however, you can link to this video on towardsimplicity.net and get a much more balanced proposal. in this video, Dan Barber suggests there is a very good, sustainable, humane way to enjoy the food we love… even animal food.
i agree change is possible, i just don’t think Mr. Bittman has presented viable paths, or at least the paths he presents aren’t nuanced enough. it’s nothing against him… i think he’s on a great track. he just needs to do a little more research.
let me know what you think of the Barber video…
peace
April 3:04 pm on January 5, 2009 Permalink
Thanks for this reminder. Transformation touches every aspect of our lives–I agree. If we are aiming for spiritual transformation we can’t ignore our diet, its all connected. Lately, we have been trying to eat more raw foods. We are also currently consulting w/ a naturalist for more wholistic advice on planning our meals.