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  • Mark 9:39 am on November 16, 2011 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: John Eldredge   

    What Does Love…Do? 

    Walking through Chicago, you see parents interacting with their kids all the time.  Walking down sidewalks, playing at parks, on the train, pushing strollers and wearing baby-wraps.  Kids being rewarded, and being disciplined.  Parenting styles of all kinds are on full display – some styles absolutely baffle me, others make me cringe…but there are times when you see a partent engage a child in such a way that it inspires not only the kid, but all watching, to live a better life.

    Many parents love their children, but few parents know how to put that love into constructive action.  What I mean is, sometimes we think we’re loving a child when we’re actually harming her.  Love is not as simple as a kiss on the cheek or handing them 50 candy-bars a day just to appease their wishes.

    Not being a parent myself, I can not assume I would be any different than countless well-meaning parents in Chicago – and my heart goes out to folks doing the most important work in the world, raising up the next generation.  It IS the most important work…which is why this question must be asked…

    What does Love do?

    I look to the perfect picture of familial love – the Father God and his Son Jesus Christ.  Review the Gospels to find what the most beautiful, ultimate parenting skills look like in action.  Re-read the Gospels with the eyes of how God ‘parented’ Jesus, and you may find that the Love of the Father sends his Son into Mission.

    I’ve seen some parents walking down the street with their two-year-old running about 20 feet behind them, frantically trying to keep up; I’ve seen other parents let their kids shoot ahead of them unawares, running at full-speed toward busy streets, and still others keep their kids on leashes, never leaving them out of their reach (with literal leashes~ or a GPS on their teen’s cell phone)!

    Watch the Father keep his Son intimately close for years, teaching him who He is and Whose He is.  At twelve years old, Jesus has a better grip on his identity and his mission than most adult Christian leaders.  Speaking to his earthly parents, who had LOST HIM at a city-festival, found  him in the Temple, and Jesus’ pre-teenage voice, cracking as he plainly said, “Why are you looking for me?  Didn’t you know that I must be where my Father’s work is!”  Potent — both intimacy and mission wrapped into one sentence…(Lk 2:48-50)

    As Jesus’ life progressed, he was sent out as the Light of the World, doing incredible work and breaking through the hardest barrier in the Universe – the human heart.  Even still, as a Good Father, God was ever-present and affirming of his Son, attuning regularly with Jesus in times of intimate prayer and communion.

    And it is in fact, the same relationship God hopes for all those chasing after the Jesus-Way.  We have a real opportunity to be “Fathered by God” – to find our true identity, and our true purpose and mission in life.  There are enough voices vying for our hearts and our dollars in this culture – it will take focus and intentionality to be fathered by God, but its worth it – not just for your own life, but for your children’s.

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  • Mark 10:32 am on November 14, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    It is in Our Nature to Nurture 

    I love learning about the brain.  It is so fun to explore the last frontier – to hear from the experts on their latest discoveries of the most densely-packed neural network in the universe!  The brain truly is an amazing thing.  My latest learnings have revolved around the way our brains (and our entire bodies) crave to nurture and be nurtured.

    Studies of eastern European orphanages where babies were essentially not touched (or nurtured) have long proven that nurture is in part what helps us survive – sadly, many of the under-nurtured children died.  Being nurtured, as infants and even as adults, helps us cope with the pains and pressures of this world.  It tells us we are not alone.

    But there is also a deep delight that comes from nurturing!  This impulse seems to come with a nuanced maturity (don’t give a 2 year old a tender orchid to care for) but the process of nurturing seems latent in many kids from the earliest years (baby dolls…pets…Farmville!?!)  For countless adults it brings a deeper sense of purpose and joy.  Nurturing actually boosts the maturity of the one maturing!  Suddenly you’re focus is not only on yourself, but on someone else.

    And this is the basic function of the Church!  To bring people from darkness to light, from immaturity to maturity.  As my friend says, “It is the Family of God, with the elders raising up the ‘youngers’.”  None of us come to faith and maturity in Jesus Christ on our own, it takes the nurturing and tending of a community bringing us along on the Way of Jesus.  And for the elders, the spiritual moms and dads of a church, nurturing others (also called discipleship) is like legal steroids for their own maturity.  This is just how it works in God’s family!

    So why is it so rare in the American Church today?  There is a lot that gets in the way of nurturing – we get side-tracked with budgets, with building campaigns, with so much more.  It is simply more dramatic and impressive to see a new education wing built or to spend our efforts writing a better sermon series.  These things help in the process of nurturing for some churches, but they ultimately are a sideshow to the real project of the Church – to bring the entire planet into a relationship of delight with their Creator.

    And I’d like to think that this organic nurture in the Church is not as rare as we think – it is likely that it just goes on unannounced.  With an older woman taking a younger lady out for tea, imparting wisdom and faith to the next generation.  This is where the real action is – the unspoken heroes of the faith.

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    • H a s h b r o w n 11:29 pm on November 15, 2011 Permalink

      This is a great point/topic.  I remember a church movement to which I once belonged having bowling get-togethers every other week, where older members and younger members were on mixed teams, hanging out and building relationships.  Although people were often drawn to folks in their same age group, there was a degree of elder-to-minor nurturing happening.  Some struggles for many church families, sadly–and a topic worth addressing–are having a balance of (1) interacting with regular people (i.e., non-Christians) and interacting with our brethren in the Lord and (2) interacting with our peers who are like us and interacting with wiser/more mature believers. 
      Some of us lean heavily towards spending time with our brethren in the
      Lord–and, often times, folks around the same age.  Some of us
      lean more heavily towards spending time with regular folks or those new
      to the Church and doing the nurturing.  Many churches of whom I’ve been a part have, at the very least, always taken nurturing brand new “converts” seriously–inviting friends and/or volunteers to stay in regular contact with and support them, inviting newly-born-again folks to join small groups, discipleship trainings, Bible studies, various ministry groups, etc.  Don’t know if a new model/paradigm is needed for older believers and younger believers to see how spending time together can look (e.g., explicitly teaching someone else’s minors/children, beyond just being a role model, can be a sketchy topic for many)…or if folks just need to follow the Spirit leading them to help raise the next generation.

    • Mark W 2:50 pm on November 16, 2011 Permalink

      Well said! The two fulcrums you describe are plainly visible in the lives of most Christians. I’m wondering if you see those two tensions (Christian/Non-Christian) and (peer/non-peer) as balances between “good and bad” – what I mean is, are there seasons we need to be with people just like us, and seasons we need to venture out into diversity?

      I tend to think that just like the High School lunch room – it is “easier” to sit at the table of folks just like me (nerds, jocks, goths, etc) – this carries over into adulthood too – Chicago’s neighborhoods look a lot like the High School lunch room – just as segregated. This is both beautiful and tragic. When folks hang out with people like them, real cultures are created. But there is rarely transformation and stretching unless heterogeneity is encouraged.

      Follow up with me on this – you’ve got my gears turnin’… :)

    • Web Hosting Provider 6:53 am on January 17, 2012 Permalink

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  • Mark 8:01 am on June 5, 2011 Permalink | Reply
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    “This is Us!” 

    Short story by Sean Durbin, a brother in the Underground Church Network here in Chicago:

    For those of us city dwellers we know what it is like to travel with others on public transportation. It can be stressful especially if the group reaches more than a few. In an effort to keep the group together a natural leader arises, and out of a deep concern to keep the group together and safe, you’ll hear “This is us!” A proclamation that lets all in the common group know that this subway car is ours for the taking, and will eventually lead us to our common destination. Interestingly enough this phrase came up again and again on a recent trip to New York City.  Since we were living in Brooklyn we commuted to Manhattan daily by subway.  I found this phrase useful again and again, “This is us!” You’d hear when our train came, after we’ve been waiting possibly seeing 2-3 trains pass us before ours arrived.

    One morning that week a friend of mine named Matan from Israel was rushing me to prepare myself for the day. As I brushed my teeth and my friend Dan fixed his hair, we heard Matan yell from the room, “This is us!”. Dan and I look at each other and turn our heads. Again we hear Matan proclaiming, “This is us!” I almost didn’t have the heart to ask Matan, “Matan, what did you say?” Matan got a sheepish look on his face. He explained, “Everytime our group is ready to move, to get on a subway, someone proclaims, ‘This is us!’ Does it not mean, ‘Let’s go’? Since his English far exceeded my Russian, or Hebrew I gave him as much grace as I could find. But after thinking about it, it must of made great sense to him to think that. Matan wanted to move us to mission together together. He was done with our passive hygienic care. So for that we made in grammatically correct the rest of the week to proclaim, “This is us!” When others in the group needed to be told, “Let us Go!”

    Thanks for writing Sean.

    As I (Mark) reflect on Sean’s story – and I remember times when I too have blurted out “This is us!” on the train approaching our stop, it strikes me what an interesting “reveal” that statement is for us as missional followers of Jesus.

    Think about what that statement is doing.  When someone on a crowded train approaching a stop leans toward his pack of friends and says, “This is us,” he is telling them that we are about to embark on a journey together.  This journey is part of what defines “us” from “them” (the rest in the train car).  It prepares and rallies the group to go. It says ‘This is who we are, we are go-ers.’

    Our identity as missional followers of Jesus is discovered “on the way” – we learn who we are by who we are traveling with, that our identity is wrapped up in our mission – and our community is those with whom we exit the train and begin our walk.  Sociologists call this communitas – and it will completely change any insular, stagnant back-biting community into a vibrant, creative, and dynamic family on the move.  When Jesus said, “(As you are going) into all the world, make disciples…” – he was saying in essence…

    …”This is us!”

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