As the semester draws to a close, I’ve started getting antsy.  Katrina and I have been working on finding a place to live, I’ve been raising support and looking for any side jobs that sound feasible, and my papers for the semester just keep looming closer and closer.  I’m hoping to have most of the Paper Beast tamed by the weekend.

It’s really tough to know what to share on here, and what not to - I guess I’m having a “mid-blog crisis”.   I want people to be in the know of what’s going down in the Willis world, just like we want to know what’s going on with our friends.  But it feels like so much of my life is in transition (will that ever really stop?) and much of it would be inappropriate to share half-baked online.  In any case, here’s what’s on the up and up on our side of the universe:

I’ve quit my job at the steakhouse here in town.  The money wasn’t covering the bills, and my hours there were getting to be too much to try to juggle with everything else we’re here in Abilene to do.  Support raising has been pretty good so far.  We’re trying to work through how all that works.  More on that maybe later.

Trina is working full time as an artist.  She’s freakin’ awesome too.  Check her website out here.  By the way, she’s turned her blog into an art blog, but since she’s got some super sweet thoughts to share with everyone, she’s now co-authoring this blog with me!  Finally!  A good writer on Godgrown.net!  Welcome her to the fam!

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Hey, by the way - a totally sweet idea coming from a Denver simple church network.  Since Barna’s Simplechurch.com doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of life, the movement is going all Bill McKibben on the internet by staying “local”.  This map is a picture of where the communities of faith are meeting throughout Denver - and how to get in touch with them.  Pretty nifty.   Think I might do that with JFN.

It’s been tough finding a balance in life as of late. Especially in regard to my future life. Katrina and I are looking down life’s road and realizing that within 6 months I’ll be a free man (free of school anyway…the loan companies may have another word to describe my status). I feel that this road will have some new and unexpected twists in the coming months, and many of the decisions we make now have major implications for how we live in the future.

But there’s the rub - I don’t want to take the reigns from God and develop “The Big Plan”, where everything is neatly packaged and ordained from quite a ways off. And at the same time, Katrina and I working together in conjunction with others who are investing in what’s going to happen in a future we’re not totally clear on. I’ve been preparing 20 years of education to live outside of the educational system, and now that this chapter in life is coming to a close, I’m not sure I know how to turn the page.

The church fellowship I’m living in right now tells me that planning is at least unproductive, if not ungodly. I react to that on several fronts, but especially when considering my interaction with others. Planning is how people cooperate, collaborate and track together. The best kind of planning overtly shares the burden of the group’s common goals, keeping one person from having to own the vision themselves.

It seems that the worst comes from focusing on “THE PLAN” instead of planning. Your planning is not some document you’ve etched in stone, its a living breathing draft that is lived, worked, and revised every single day. We are human, we need to be flexible in our planning. In addition however, I know that a mediocre plan that is consistently worked on is better than epiphanies that contradict each other every six months.  It’s about working toward the horizon, yet living for today with the hearts of your close friends in mind.

I guess its kind of like GPS systems they put in cars. If you give it a coordinates, it immediately spits out a PLAN for you to follow, and immediately you follow the exact directions it offers. But then something happens. A clown with a pack of ravenous wolverines jumps out in the middle of the road and you have to swerve onto a side street to avoid him. The plans change. The GPS recognizes this and helps you move toward your goal based on your new situation. It’s planning-on-the-fly.

As we move into a “team development” and “planning” phase this year, it is my goal to focus on planning as a lifestyle - listening to the Spirit, and working intentionally to draw up the sketches (rather than the hard and fast rules) of what our mission work might look like in Chicago.

So what are we doing about it? For starters, you can see what we’ve got so far on Our Vision page. I’m writing down thoughts and sharing them with people who have committed to journeying with us. I’m consistently listening to the Spirit for inspiration or new insights. I’ve joined a “mission team developers” Facebook group that puts other missionaries raising up teams in connection with each other for encouragement and reflections on how to go about planning. I’ve even drawn some of those mind maps…

Right now it just feels like I’m roving around in the dark. If anyone has any good suggestions on how to develop a meaningful long term plan, let me know.

Some of these thoughts came from an interview Tim Berry and Steve Addison.

Last Saturday I picked up an extra shift at the steakhouse I work for here in Abilene. As of late I have been in prayer about my co-workers and asking the Lord to raise up workers in his harvest from among the people who work there. Father has been drawing my prayers toward one individual, who is quickly becoming a good friend of mine.

This man is not even as old as I am, and yet he just finished signing all his divorce papers last Friday. That is why he invited me and several others out to Remington’s Bar after work on Saturday. Remington’s is (I’m told) the most respectable bar in Abilene; a good middle-class experience - not too grungy, and not gold-plated. I’ve been there a few times in the past, and each time I walk in with the prayer that God would open my ears and eyes to what I am supposed to experience. He has never failed to answer that prayer.

My friend and I were sitting together and reflecting on his past 3 years as a married man when she approached. Her name was Shar. She had just moved back from Atlanta and knew absolutely NO ONE in Abilene. While she was disappointed with the night life (who isn’t?), she kept hoping that she would find some fun friends to start hanging out with. We introduced ourselves and told her that we had some other friends that would be joining us soon.

Before long we were all toasting each other with drinks and smiles, patting each other on the back for a long night’s work well done. Shar was still in the group, but was having a hard time striking up a meaningful conversation through all the “steakhouse banter”. She scooted over towards me and asked, “So what did you say you were studying?”

With a just a hint of anxiety in my voice I replied, “Uh, missions.”

“Oh.” She did better than most to quickly change the subject, talking about her life in med school and her father who had passed away two years ago, but about 10 minutes later she pressed further.

“So you’re in missions? What is that exactly? That means, like, Christian stuff right? Do you want to be a pastor or something?” I had been pegged. I told her that I did not want to be a pastor, and that both my wife and I had been changed by Christ in very tangible ways, and I wanted to spend my life letting people know what else in life is possible when Christ is at the center. I felt better than I normally do trying to explain myself…as if I really needed to.

“So…” she looked around the room, then back at me.

“Oh. I guess you’re wondering why I’m HERE. I suppose I see no reason why a Christian should hole himself up away from his friends and from so many others just because bars are looked down on at churches. This is where Jesus would’ve been hanging out. Look how much fun they’re having!” I pointed up at an elderly couple that was doing a pretty energetic two-step at the front of the room. They were obviously in love and loving life.

Shar went a little deeper, “That’s good to hear. You know, I had a few Christian friends back in Atlanta who were just amazing. I loved hanging out with them and all, but I always felt judged by them because while I would hang out with them, they would never hang out with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean they would never come out to the bars I loved to go to, and never found time to head to any of my other friends’ houses. It just seemed like they were there to drag me away from everyone else I knew. I guess things would have been a lot different for my life if they had actually cared.”

That did it for me. I saw clearly, maybe for the first time ever, the effects of Christians who are just there to add to their own numbers, and not to truly befriend those who needed to know Christ. All I could say in response was, “Shar, there is so much more to following Christ than you’ve been shown. Keep looking.” I don’t know if that conversation affected her, but it sure got to me.

Steve, my Bostonian buddy, just finished writing a great post on “exiles at the table”.  Christians have become professionals at inviting others to their own activities…their own tables.  But could it be that many non-Christians are waiting for Christians to join them at their own tables before trusting them will ever be an option?

Shar’s words about her life almost being changed but for the segmenting Christian friends she hung out with holds tight around my heart.  I will NEVER be afraid to go somewhere with my non-Christian friend.  Christ who goes with me is more powerful than anything that might be present, wherever we go.  For the rest of my life I commit to demonstrating my love for my friends by being present, and by being Christ everywhere I go.  Now “studying missions” actually means something to me.

Lord, I pray for Shar, and I ask that while she in here in Abilene you will give her friends that meet her on her turf - people who are incarnations of your Kingdom in her world.   That the world may know.

So much is happening.  It looks like today’s post might be one of those eclectic, A.D.D. posts.

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Last weekend Katrina and I drove all the way up to middle Tennessee for a family reunion retreat in the middle of Natchez Trace State Park.  It was an amazing journey up (including submitting a paper for a class by email while sitting in a Super 8 Motel parking lot!), and Katrina and I had a lot of time to talk a bunch of big things through.  The weekend itself was very nostalgic/avant-garde.  My family is a mixture of ultra-conservative non-institutional Church of Christ folks, and a branch of extreme-prophetic non-denominational neo-charismatics.  And then there’s Katrina and I who “don’t go to church anywhere”.  So its always interesting when we bust out the song books and break out in worship.  Good ole’ unity in Christ.  I guess Paul said we were “one” in Christ, not one in church.  Surprisingly, we had a lot of people get really excited about our mission work, and committed to praying for us.  Awesome!

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This Saturday is Wikicclesia, a chance for people who are living on the edges of God’s Kingdom and/or leading communities of God to come together and share what they’ve learned so far.  That’s why we’re calling it “Wikicclesia” - “cclesia” since that is the Greek word for gathering or church, and “wiki” because its set up not as a lecture-conference, but with lots of round tables, markers, and huge sheets of paper for brainstorming.  Everyone is encouraged to share what they’ve learned, which informs how the day goes - think of the day as an article on Wikipedia - the whole thing takes shape under the leadership of many, and truthfully, under the leadership of the Spirit.  Cool!  If you’re in the area and would like to attend, follow the link above and contact those at that email address.  Or just leave me a comment.

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We’re reading some great books, thanks to a little book on speed reading.  Here’s a few on our list right now:  Deep Economy: the wealth of economies and the durable future,  Global Chicago, Wikinomics: how mass collaboration changes everything, and The Jesus Way: a conversation on the ways that Jesus is the Way.   Speed reading has been such a “freeing” tool for me and her lately; we have so much we want to learn (and remember) and speed reading helps us through the stack of library books before they’re all due.  And the TV can just stay off for all I’m concerned.

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Yesterday I went out with Kent and Miller to the 411 Project.  Miller and others have been working hard!  Much of the land has been cleared, simple shelters and structures have been erected, goats have a real pen, chickens have their roost…and the well is being dug.  Miller plans to use the dirt dug out for the well to make compressed earth blocks for his family’s house.  It was great fun learning and working with him on the making a few of these powerful bricks.  I’ve not written on this before, but Katrina and I are keenly interested in this type of building as a sustainable and durable alternative (not to mention affordable!) to traditional stick-and-insulation homes for our own living situation.  While the project is just getting started, I can say already that the 411 project has brought beauty out of a forgotten land, and is restoring it to a state that brings glory to God.

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I suppose that’s what I’ve got time to toss up here for now.  I keep waiting for the summer to slow down so I can get in a more blogarific mood, but I’m still waiting I guess.  Time to catch up on reading your blog!

Last night was an amazing time of intergenerational “discernment of the Body”.

One of our great friends here in town, Karen, had invited us to meet with her church family because Father had moved her to pray for the people in the state of Texas. Trina and I are always looking for excuses to hang out with Karen and her husband Kent (my prof and mentor), so we asked our church to come along with us.

The conversation was incredible. Meeting with several older couples was very enriching to our group. After some time of solid prayer and singing (how long has it been since our church has done any a cappella singing?) Kent mentioned that it might be a good time to hear what we have been hearing from the Spirit in our own lives…then he corrected himself and said we really need to share what we’d heard from him, since it edifies the whole Body…then pausing, he said, “so you’d jolly-well BETTER NOT hold back!” with a smile on his face. That really got the conversation rolling.

While we came to focus on the state of Texas, we found ourselves moving toward issues of climate change and how industrialized nations are “raping the earth” in their quest for economic prosperity and political supremacy. The utilization of fossil fuels has allowed nations like the United States to live on the “high hog”, careening through a lifestyle that capitalizes on resources that have been building on this planet for millions of years, and tearing through the majority of them in just the last 100. One man said that as he was flying home from Europe two weeks ago, he looked down on Greenland, once a huge sheet of solid ice, now has massive blue lakes all over its surface. This fresh water is boring down through fissures in the ice and becoming a lubricant for the ice on top to slide into the warm ocean. He went on to say that for the first time in recorded history, Antarctica’s peninsula failed to connect to the larger ice formation last year, meaning we have reached a threshold that is now impossible to recross.

The times they are a changin’.

As we talked about our earth, and the greedy lifestyle of so many industrialized nations, I just kept getting a picture of the Prodigal Son. For years he has lived “high hog”, blowing his inheritance on reckless living, and now he (we) are just beginning to wake up, staring down at the bottom of an empty trough, wondering how we got here.

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it,” the LORD said to a riotous Israel. I believe we as a nation are hearing these words afresh.

I guess you could say I feel sort of jipped. I mean, what do I say to generations who went before us, who put personal wealth before their call to nurture the earth? My theology of creation has shifted.  No longer will I simply “have dominion” over the earth.  Being a follower of Christ for me now is inextricably linked with a nurturing relationship to the Earth.  With everything that I have in me, I want to pray for and protect “sister earth”.

A prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:

The Canticle of the Creatures

Most High, all-powerful, all-good Lord,

All praise is Yours, all glory, honor and blessings.

To you alone, Most High, do they belong;

no mortal lips are worthy to pronounce Your Name.

We praise You, Lord, for all Your creatures,

especially for Brother Sun,

who is the day through whom You give us light.

And he is beautiful and radiant with great splendor,

of You Most High, he bears your likeness.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Moon and the stars,

in the heavens you have made them bright, precious and fair.

We praise You, Lord, for Brothers Wind and Air,

fair and stormy, all weather’s moods,

by which You cherish all that You have made.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Water,

so useful, humble, precious and pure.

We praise You, Lord, for Brother Fire,

through whom You light the night.

He is beautiful, playful, robust, and strong.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Earth,

who sustains us

with her fruits, colored flowers, and herbs.

We praise You, Lord, for those who pardon,

for love of You bear sickness and trial.

Blessed are those who endure in peace,

by You Most High, they will be crowned.

We praise You, Lord, for Sister Death,

from whom no-one living can escape.

Woe to those who die in their sins!

Blessed are those that She finds doing Your Will.

No second death can do them harm.

We praise and bless You, Lord, and give You thanks,

and serve You in all humility.