At THEIR Table
Last Saturday I picked up an extra shift at the steakhouse I work for here in Abilene. As of late I have been in prayer about my co-workers and asking the Lord to raise up workers in his harvest from among the people who work there. Father has been drawing my prayers toward one individual, who is quickly becoming a good friend of mine.
This man is not even as old as I am, and yet he just finished signing all his divorce papers last Friday. That is why he invited me and several others out to Remington’s Bar after work on Saturday. Remington’s is (I’m told) the most respectable bar in Abilene; a good middle-class experience – not too grungy, and not gold-plated. I’ve been there a few times in the past, and each time I walk in with the prayer that God would open my ears and eyes to what I am supposed to experience. He has never failed to answer that prayer.
My friend and I were sitting together and reflecting on his past 3 years as a married man when she approached. Her name was Shar. She had just moved back from Atlanta and knew absolutely NO ONE in Abilene. While she was disappointed with the night life (who isn’t?), she kept hoping that she would find some fun friends to start hanging out with. We introduced ourselves and told her that we had some other friends that would be joining us soon.
Before long we were all toasting each other with drinks and smiles, patting each other on the back for a long night’s work well done. Shar was still in the group, but was having a hard time striking up a meaningful conversation through all the “steakhouse banter”. She scooted over towards me and asked, “So what did you say you were studying?”
With a just a hint of anxiety in my voice I replied, “Uh, missions.”
“Oh.” She did better than most to quickly change the subject, talking about her life in med school and her father who had passed away two years ago, but about 10 minutes later she pressed further.
“So you’re in missions? What is that exactly? That means, like, Christian stuff right? Do you want to be a pastor or something?” I had been pegged. I told her that I did not want to be a pastor, and that both my wife and I had been changed by Christ in very tangible ways, and I wanted to spend my life letting people know what else in life is possible when Christ is at the center. I felt better than I normally do trying to explain myself…as if I really needed to.
“So…” she looked around the room, then back at me.
“Oh. I guess you’re wondering why I’m HERE. I suppose I see no reason why a Christian should hole himself up away from his friends and from so many others just because bars are looked down on at churches. This is where Jesus would’ve been hanging out. Look how much fun they’re having!” I pointed up at an elderly couple that was doing a pretty energetic two-step at the front of the room. They were obviously in love and loving life.
Shar went a little deeper, “That’s good to hear. You know, I had a few Christian friends back in Atlanta who were just amazing. I loved hanging out with them and all, but I always felt judged by them because while I would hang out with them, they would never hang out with me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean they would never come out to the bars I loved to go to, and never found time to head to any of my other friends’ houses. It just seemed like they were there to drag me away from everyone else I knew. I guess things would have been a lot different for my life if they had actually cared.”
That did it for me. I saw clearly, maybe for the first time ever, the effects of Christians who are just there to add to their own numbers, and not to truly befriend those who needed to know Christ. All I could say in response was, “Shar, there is so much more to following Christ than you’ve been shown. Keep looking.” I don’t know if that conversation affected her, but it sure got to me.
Steve, my Bostonian buddy, just finished writing a great post on “exiles at the table”. Christians have become professionals at inviting others to their own activities…their own tables. But could it be that many non-Christians are waiting for Christians to join them at their own tables before trusting them will ever be an option?
Shar’s words about her life almost being changed but for the segmenting Christian friends she hung out with holds tight around my heart. I will NEVER be afraid to go somewhere with my non-Christian friend. Christ who goes with me is more powerful than anything that might be present, wherever we go. For the rest of my life I commit to demonstrating my love for my friends by being present, and by being Christ everywhere I go. Now “studying missions” actually means something to me.
Lord, I pray for Shar, and I ask that while she in here in Abilene you will give her friends that meet her on her turf – people who are incarnations of your Kingdom in her world. Â That the world may know.
Leanne and 5 others are discussing. 
Leanne 11:16 am on June 26, 2007 Permalink
You just described the way I was led to Christ
archer 11:20 am on June 26, 2007 Permalink
Your “story” is one that promotes the popular attitude that Christians should be fellowshipping with non-Christians. I consider that simply another attempt to make inroads into the truth about how Christians are to act in the world around them. It is a not-so-subtle critism against the Christian command to NOT be having FELLOWSHIP with those in the world. We are of course supposed to be kind, helpful and demonstrating love to worldly folks, but FELLOWSHIP with them is something different.
And you can not compare what Christ did to yourself or to Christians, for the Lord Jesus could read hearts, whereas we can not. The Lord Jesus did not have the inheritance of Adamic sin residing in his flesh which constitutes a strong inducement to temptation and sin……but WE DO!
Chadd 11:51 am on June 26, 2007 Permalink
Thanks for telling this good story that you are living. I think both things are key in our world right now…living it and telling it. Peace and courage my brother.
Mark 2:43 pm on June 26, 2007 Permalink
Leanne, I would love to hear that story sometime – i don’t know if you have a blog or not – could you leave your web address with your next comment?
Archer – I’m not sure I follow your thoughts. Are you saying that Christians should not “fellowship” with non-Christians? If so, how do you come to that conclusion? If not, what were you trying to say? And are you saying that Christ was not tempted with “Adamic sin” (not sure what you mean there)? If you’re saying Christ wasn’t tempted with sin, I would have to disagree with you.
Chadd – There’s a good book out there called “Live to Tell” by Kallenberg I think. Give it a look.
Agent B 8:04 pm on June 26, 2007 Permalink
Very.good.words.
Excellent report. Keep it up. And I love the table analogy.
And what’s this isolation voyage of the fellowSHIP…complete with fool-ass luggage??
Brilliant. Maybe those sinners will finally learn to join us…OUR way….
Jenna 10:02 pm on June 26, 2007 Permalink
I love hearing that Mark. Especially this: Christ who goes with me is more powerful than anything that might be present, wherever we go. So true. I love hearing about what you’re doing. Thanks for reading my blog- I’ll definitely be writing about Chicago!
Leanne 12:16 am on June 27, 2007 Permalink
*smiles*
this is what was done for me and what I, in turn, have done for 3 others whom I can now call brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s unlike anything I’ve yet to find-except in the Bible
Here’s one of my blog addy’s: http://shofarnation.blogspot.com/
Matt Vaughan 3:17 pm on June 28, 2007 Permalink
I just hope that the prayer at the end of your post doesn’t end there. By that I mean that we need to be praying for the Christian community–that it would come to embrace Christ’s passion for people. And that they would do it on Christ’s terms, as you were doing the other night. I am afraid that it is not enough to simply pray for those outside the church. We have to pray for us, too.
But a great post with encouraging observations.
RCM- Steve 3:01 am on July 1, 2007 Permalink
Mark, don’t you just love the way the Lord works in our hearts and lives? I appreciate everytime He stretches me, gives me a little courage to reach out into unfamiliar territory. Yep, He goes everywhere with me, opening my ears and eyes, giving me opportunities I did not look for or expect.
Too many Christians are busy correcting false beliefs (in the name of defending the gospel) and differentiating themselves from others instead of loving the people that Jesus loves. It makes me sad.
One commenter here said that we should not fellowship with sinners and that we have no right to compare ourselves with Jesus. My gosh, what Bible is he reading from? It is my fundamental responsibility as a Christ-follower to compare and contrast my life to that of my Best Friend and Savior Jesus. How else would I receive guidance or growth?
Well written post, very stimulating, and I didn’t think it was too harsh at all. I appreciate you sharing your passion and your ideas with us.