John 12:24 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil and dies, it remains alone. But its death will produce many new kernels—a plentiful harvest of new lives. 25 Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity.

Philippians 2:5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

6 Though he was God,

he did not think of equality with God

as something to cling to.

7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges;

he took the humble position of a slavet

and was born as a human being.

When he appeared in human form,

8 he humbled himself in obedience to God

and died a criminal’s death on a cross.

9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor

and gave him the name above all other names,

10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

Mark 4:3 “Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seed. 4 As he scattered it across his field, some of the seed fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate it. 5 Other seed fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seed sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. 6 But the plant soon wilted under the hot sun, and since it didn’t have deep roots, it died. 7 Other seed fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants so they produced no grain. 8 Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they sprouted, grew, and produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!” 9 Then he said, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”

There is nothing as important in following Jesus as living like as he did, and his life ended in sacrificial death – how could us, as his followers live our life in any other way?  May God bless you as you live in his death, hoping for God’s resurrection.

More often than not, it is messy dance of back and forth.  It is ambiguous victories mixed with incomplete failures.  I don’t know half the time whose side I’m fighting for – and often it feels like my efforts are doing more harm for the Kingdom than good.

Why all this self-doubt?  We’re getting toward the end of Lent, and I realize each year that no matter how much purging and confession and buffeting I do to hone myself closer to the Living God, there is simply no way to transcend the fact that I’m a person who will also be mixed with the spiritual warfare going on all around us. At times I pick up the flag of the enemy and run in the opposite direction, hell bent on destroying everything I desperately want to see accomplished in God’s work here in Chicago.

Dorothy Day, founder of the Catholic Worker Movement once said:

“What we do is very little.  But it is like the little boy with a few loaves and fishes.  Christ took that little and increased it.  He will do the rest.  What we do is so little that we may seem to be constantly failing.  But so did he fail.  He met with apparent failure on the Cross.  But unless the seeds fall into the earth and die, there is no harvest.”

Being a missionary isn’t a neat and tidy job, but then again, Jesus had a fine time living in ambiguity and failure.  That brings me peace.

Even more astounding are those choices that not only affect your life, but enslave your children, grandchildren and beyond to that choice as well.  Think about a father who beats his kids, who grow up to beat their kids…

…will the cycle be unbroken?

The Israelites began their stay in Egypt as heroes.  Golden son Joseph from Israel had excelled in the Egyptian hierarchy from ex-con to 2nd in command under Pharaoh himself.  He brought all his family down, from Canaan in the midst of a terrifying famine, because through God’s providence, God warned Joseph of the famine years earlier and Egypt had prepared.

At the start of things, Egypt was endentured to Israel. Maybe there was a need to be needed.  Maybe Israel convinced itself that THIS was how they were to fulfill their destiny to be a “blessing to all nations.”  Who knows…

But the high wore off, a hero’s welcome became an “immigration issue” which eventually became a “workforce solution.”  There were pyramids to build after all.

The choice to move to Egypt was, at first, a necessary one.  But somewhere along the way there was a crest in that decision that no one ever took seriously – at some point the good in staying in Egypt no longer outweighed the bad…and at the opening of the book of Exodus, Israel is enslaved to its decision.

52:4 This is what the Sovereign Lord says: “Long ago my people chose to live in Egypt. Now they are oppressed by Assyria. 5 What is this?” asks the Lord. “Why are my people enslaved again? Those who rule them shout in exultation. My name is blasphemed all day long. 6 But I will reveal my name to my people, and they will come to know its power. Then at last they will recognize that I am the one who speaks to them.”

What decisions will you make today that will affect your grandchildren?  What decisions have you made years ago that you still live out of, even though the benefits of that decision have worn off – and you are trapped, enslaved to your past choice?  Will those around you, or even those that come after you be enslaved to a decision you made long ago?

Think hard on that one.  It could change your life…